


"I Am Tired of Speaking of God."

by Barely_Meeting_Expectations, smwhrinwndrlnd97



Category: Night In The Woods (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Betaed, Bisexual Mae, Cults, Depression, Derealization, Dialogue Heavy, Dissociation, Explicit Language, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Graphic descriptions, Graphic descriptions of corpses, How Do I Tag, Kidnapping, M/M, Medicinal Drug Use, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Mild Language, Minor Character Deaths, Multi, Mystery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Overprotective friends but also that's not so bad in this context I mean, PTSD, Paranormal, Past Drug Use, Possum Springs, Question mark???, Rating May Change, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Spoilers, Suicide, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vomiting, light gore, or - Freeform, post-cannon, rating MAE change huh huh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:13:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10076243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barely_Meeting_Expectations/pseuds/Barely_Meeting_Expectations, https://archiveofourown.org/users/smwhrinwndrlnd97/pseuds/smwhrinwndrlnd97
Summary: There was a lot going on in Possum Springs recently. Not for Mae of course, but for everyone else in town. It was all moving so fast winter became a snowy, chilly blur. With Gregg and Angus focusing on “The Plan”, Bea taking over her father’s store, and her parents trying to save the house, Mae thought now would be as good a time as any to sort herself out and rekindle her own plans for the future (maybe).Needless to say, the resurfacing of unsettling dreams and cryptic visions weren’t necessarily helping matters. Oh, and being kidnapped by a vengeful (and surprisingly extensive) cult certainly wasn’t helping things, either.Meanwhile in the woods, deep beneath the earth, a hungry darkness hums a haunting tune. And Mae can't get it out of her head.





	1. Prologue: These Shapes Will Have to Do

If anything, Mae believed that going back to Dr. Hank would help her.

At the very least, she thought it would get her parents off of her back for sleeping all day or intentionally setting off the neighbors. Not that it wasn’t something she would normally do; it was just a little offputting now that pissing off everyone in her immediate vicinity became a top priority.

Not that any of the dangerous, uncanny events leading up to this appointment were helping her at all in the first place. Not surprisingly, it did the exact opposite. Hell, maybe almost dying several times all at once in the midst of a mental fallout all in the span of a couple of days wasn’t actually good for your health?

Mae briefly pondered this thought as she twirled the bat around her feet, stomping towards the abandoned Food Donkey seething and unforgiving, gritting her teeth along the way.

Only briefly though, because soon, everything would become shapes, and there would be no thoughts. Just fear, and anger, and sadness.

The last time this had happened, it was at the donut place on the highway with Gregg and Angus. Luckily, Angus wasn’t actually aware that Mae tore up the bathroom; and thankfully, Gregg was there to talk her down from her rage stupor.

But this wasn’t like any of her typical “rage stupors”. This was something different entirely. This was something that couldn’t be talked out of, and Mae ultimately believed that surrendering and allowing herself to just “see shapes” one more time might have been a good way to let off some steam.

(Of course, this, too, was very different from what had happened six years ago. The Food Donkey was abandoned and housed no unknowing shoppers and towngoers that definitely would not have left unscathed. To see shapes, there would have to have been people in there; because in the end, that’s what the shapes derived from. Dense, hollow, unfamiliar corpses, no personalities, no thoughts, no anything, just nothing and that was it. Zombies. And that’s honestly the only reason why Mae would end up swinging the bat. Self defense, really, from empty shapes filling the air and surrounding her. Self defense, really.)

The door was locked. Mae didn’t understand why she even tried opening it at the time, because she still would have broken the windows anyways.

Stumbling through the shattered glass in a haze of unbridled anger and confusion, she eyed everything that she knew could be destroyed. An abandoned register (why would they leave this here in the first place?), a couple of empty boxes, some carts loitering in the corner, the windows that lined the building, and- ah.

The two remaining robot heads from the crime fun with Gregg.

When Mae realized this, a twinge of guilt rattled through her veins.

And then it was replaced with a bitter euphoria as she let out a holler and tore through the building like a tornado, bashing the bat recklessly at anything that would give or shatter.

And thoughts raced through her head, and none of them stayed at all.

Thoughts like, “You pathetic trash. Only when you’re fucking things up, you feel good about yourself.”

Thoughts like, “At least you were smart enough to choose an abandoned place over an innocent kid.”

Thoughts like, “Doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. Nothing matters. Nothing stays.”

Thoughts like, “I missed this, and I hate myself for it.”

Mae stepped back briefly when she felt a brief burst of pain shoot up her foot. Oh. The glass. You’re barefoot, you’ve only got socks on. The red trail was extensive and the cut was deep but there was a screaming in her head and an urgency to her movements now as she thwacked at the miscellaneous items scattered around the empty supermarket.

The sound of destruction echoed throughout the building.

Eventually, after about ten minutes of just beating the shit out of everything in the room, it was time to move on to the next; and yeah, she knew the door was locked, but there was a screaming in her head and an urgency to run from it, ruthlessly throwing and slamming herself into the door until it gave and she went tumbling down the steps.

You’re not normal. This isn’t normal. Fuck, why can’t you be normal? Why can’t you at least pretend to be somewhat normal?

She hadn’t realized that she was saying these things out loud until the voices echoed off of the two hulking robotic forms before her. They looked like they were talking back. “Nightmare eyes,” they said in unison.

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

Mae!?

Well, that voice certainly sounded familiar.

They flew through one ear and out the other and she found that she had only one objective; not to destroy everything in the Food Donkey (not that there was much left to begin with), but to hurt something that wasn’t herself for a change, until she couldn’t lift the bat above her head anymore, until her knees gave out and she passed out in her trail of blood and glass and self-hatred.

Euphoria.

The sound of metal on metal, the sound of breaking and bending and smashing and crushing was euphoria in her mind, because it covered everything else up, because she swore she saw somebody behind her - nothing new, again - and she swore that there were ghosts creeping in her shadow everytime she turned around and that eventually, she would be left alone with it. Just her and her ghost, while her friends up and left her and her family threw Possum Springs and all the memories therein into a vat of molten lava.

I hate this I hate this I hate this-

“Mae!? Dude! What the hell!?”

There it was again, that high pitched, screamy voice screeching through the building like wheels slamming to a halt and she didn’t care. She couldn’t care. She couldn’t think. There were no thoughts in her head, she had become one great big shape, with a fluid motion of lift, swing, repeat. Her feet stung, her arms ached, but she was almost there, she almost couldn’t breathe and it killed her to think she’d kept herself from letting this go for sooo long. Repression, Dr. Hank, called it, you need to repress it. You can’t let it win. Black crept around the edges of her sight and- there it was again, that ghost, right behind her, reaching its hand out to drag her into the elevator, down to the gaping hole in the center of it all, the end of everything and the beginning for everything around it, god, the robots- they almost looked like people.

Maybe that’s what made this so satisfyingly draining - they looked like people. People shapes. Ones that didn’t flinch or bleed or cry, they just broke, they just crumbled into pieces upon impact, the sheer force of the bat colliding with their stupid, condescending expressions and goofy fake grins- everyone she’d met had a fake grin, no one would ever smile willingly at Mae Borowski, that’s just neighborhood polite, kid, it’s all you got-

God, she couldn’t breathe.

“Mae!”

The voice stuck this time, momentarily yanking her back into reality, and her balance faltered, because reality hit hard and it was confusing. She slid down the wall, red streaks painted down when she tried to pull herself back up, and then the sound of someone rapidly approaching dragged her right back down into all-out panic, - it was them, it was them - fear gripping her heaving chest as she pulled the bat back one last time-

“St-stay away from m-me!” She sobbed, inching away from the black ghost that neared her.

It reached for her; the walls became stone, the floor became dirt, and she was so terrified of everything, still or moving, shape or not, the darkness crept up again and she swung as hard as she could.

Which couldn’t have been too hard, since her captor easily caught it and plucked it from her grasp, flinging it away without a care in the world.

Mae tugged at her ears and her fur and sobbed into the closing night sky-

And then there was Gregg, standing before her, with a panicked and worried expression on his face, his eyes watery and his tone of voice warped with an almost calming demeanor. Or was it condescending? Mae didn’t know. Mae didn’t know why he was here or how he got here or if he was mad at her or if the police were here or they were being chased again or-

“Hey, you’re alright, Mae! Fuck, are you okay? It’s just me! It’s just Angus and me!” Gregg spoke, a little softer this time, inching towards her slowly with his hands up. It almost seemed like a gesture of surrender.

Mae bawled. Of course it was a gesture of surrender. Any and everyone who made contact with her surrendered to an outlandish, unsatisfying friendship, like a voluntary slavery that only Mae knew was basically pitiful contact.

The thoughts stopped.

She stopped crying.

Exhaustion hit her like a sack of bricks, as if reality were the bat and she’d become the shapes they were breaking.

And Gregg said something else - she heard him clearly, but they had just become sounds in her head, the shapes of the words and not the actual meaning of them - only to find that she had become despondent of all outside influences, completely absorbed in a loneliness you could only find in Mae Borowski’s head.

Suddenly, she became lightheaded, gradually slumping into the ground as consciousness ebbed from her body and blackness ensnared her vision.

But she could breathe again. She could finally breathe again.

So, that was a good sign, right?

Soft, bulky arms scooped her up from the ground and for a moment, she understood what the God Monster in her dreams meant about flying up and closing the sky. Snippets of conversation stuck in her mind as she continued flying higher and higher.

“Will she be okay…?”

“... Yeah. She’ll wake up in a while and feel bad.”

“So this… has happened before?”

“Oh yeah. Just, not as bad. And not as long. Let’s take her back home, I don’t think going to her parents is a good idea right now.”

Yeah, her parents. The ones that said, ‘We set up an appointment with Dr. Hank. You’ve been down lately, and we want to make sure you’re alright.’

She had a strange dream that night (or was it still day?), about what that God Monster had said about little creatures and hooves. And she thought she might have actually deciphered its meaning.

But she lost it.


	2. The Little Creature's Parasites

Mae opened her eyes to an all too familiar night sky. The ground before her looked to have been made of stardust, and the endless expanse of darkness wafted a residual sense of stillness and peace throughout the nameless place.

Slowly, she dragged herself up from the glistening “floor” - the sense of surrealism in this dream was never as abrasive as reality, which she was both thankful for and weary of, seeing that she was told she wouldn’t come back to this place anymore. So then why did she wake up here again?

Mae trudged along the pathless hills and approached the only other entity in the strange realm: an enormous lion-esque monster, with blinding white eyes and a pitch black sillhouette, easy to make out from the distance in a world consisting of starlight and deep shades of blue.

Although, when she finally reached them, she didn’t quite know what to say, and stood in silence for a good five minutes until mustering enough courage to address the God Monster.

“I… I thought you told me that I wouldn’t return here.” She inquired.

The God Monster didn’t move, and she pressed on.

“I don’t understand. I thought this was over. When-when the mine collapsed, right? That’s what you were referring to, right? I thought-”

A deep, foreboding voice resounded throughout the nothingness surrounding them.

“The little creature has a thought,” it said, never blinking. “The little creature has endless, aimless thoughts, and the little creature asks me to affirm them, but I know not of what little creatures think. I do not care what little the creature thinks.”

“Ouch.” Mae spat, shooting the God Monster an irritated look. “Well could you at least tell me why I’m here then? You said so yourself, I wouldn’t be coming back.”

“And the little creature asks of me the answers that I hold, in response to a timeless occurence, to the words I have said long ago that have already been taken by the wind. Of a time that has since then been driven away by time. The little creature knows not of the parasites that writhe in the clock.”

“...Parasites?” Mae bit back the urge to ask the deity-like monster if they were suggesting she had fleas, this seemed too serious to joke about. A chill shot through her spine.

“An organism that takes advantage of its host. I will tell you this, little creature, the hooves that tear the hole continue to trudge. The hooves that trudge, they carry parasites. The parasites fall through the holes, and rain.”

“... So, it’s… not over then… they, lived? I don’t-”

“Spider-like parasites that weave webs within webs, weaving a silk that consumes and endures, hatching their eggs far beyond the reaches of the endless, aimless host. Surrounding them, swallowing them hole. Atoms, multiplying. Ideas, multiplying. Thoughts, multiplying.

“And I will not tell you what your thoughts should be, but I will tell you this. Should there be a God, little creature, concealing itself in the midst of this infestation, they are laughing at you. Should there be a God, they orchestrate only chaos, by feeding and caring for their little creatures. For if the creature eats, the parasite eats. And your God created the parasites to feed off the creature, who eats. If God is with you, they are laughing, and feeding. If God is with you, then they are truly a devil.”

The monster stood abruptly, startling Mae out of her confused state and she flinched backwards.

“The little creature, it fears me, a nameless nonexistence, but doesn’t fear the writhing little insects.”

“No wait, please!” Mae begged as the God Monster unsheathed its wings and prepared its departure. “Please, shit, I don’t know what you’re saying! I don’t know what any of this means! Is it over? Am I still in danger!?”

“Strange that I almost pity the little creature. But then I question them. Why beg an entity to clarify the little creature’s demise? Why do they search for answers in the sky? And so I ask the little creature,”

It leaned forward, its blinding eyes seeing straight through Mae’s soul.

“If they are, in fact, a creature, or a parasite?”

And with that, the God Monster flew away, the gust of wind erupting from his takeoff throwing Mae back into the sky.

She never landed.

-

“-and then Bea stuffed the cigarette butt into my nostril, and well, I mean, it was an impulsive decision-”

A cheery, energetic voice.

“Oh, hon, no.”

One solemn, hushed, husky.

“Sorry Angus; if I’d known he was stupid enough to actually inhale, I never would have done it, but I needed my hands free to unlock my car, and his snout was right there, so I mean-”

And finally, one low, gravelly, almost empty at times. 

Mae knew these voices. They caused her to stir.

“Angus, sweetie, in the time you’ve known me, you’ve gotta know by now that cigarettes are by far the most tame thing I’ve ever snorted in my life. And ironically enough, it was the only thing I ended up going to the hospital for. I smelled like tobbaco for a good two months!”

“Hon, that isn’t funny. That’s concerning.”

“You’re right, babe, snot funny at all!”

“Guys, shh, Mae’s waking up!”

Mae blinked the sleepiness away and stirred to the familiar voices surrounding her. As she gradually came to, she saw that she wasn’t in her house, where she usually would be when she was sleeping.

She was lying on the couch in Gregg and Angus’ apartment. And she had no idea why.

Everything that happened the day before (or perhaps longer) had become a blank canvas, and while it utterly terrified Mae to her core, she saw that she was surrounded by friends. And the fear became bearable.

“Morning, sleepyhead!” Gregg said excitedly, rushing to her side and plopping down next to her on the floor. “Have a nice nap?”

“...?” Mae was at a loss for words, looking curiously at the inquisitive faces that circled her worriedly. “What… Not that I enjoy both the comfy couch and the wonderful company, but… Why exactly am I… here? And not at home? In bed? I swear I was-”

“Dude, you don’t remember any of that!?” Gregg damn near shouted, a look of downplayed disbelief on his face. “That’s crazy, how could you forget that entire episode!?”

Episode? Had she been watching TV with them?

“Dude, my days are all like… a blur of confusion and forgetfullness, if there’s something important here that we’re all aware of that I’m forgetting, it’s not in my little brain like at all, or it didn’t happen. Had the weirdest dream, though.”

“Oh? What was the dream about?” Beatrice said. “Maybe what happened is what you thought was actually a dream. It’s happened to me plenty of times.”

“Nah, I highly doubt it.” Mae shrugged. “I saw God again. He called me a parasite. I think? I dunno, guy’s not very straightfoward. He just… scares me with what he hints at sometimes…”

Gregg shook his head. “That couldn’t have been it, then. God was gone from you, my guy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, asshat?”

“Well, what do you remember before that then?” Angus asked softly. His voice was less harsh than Gregg’s and less gravelly than Bea’s, and it was honestly a relief. Mae could fall asleep hearing him speak - which certainly wasn’t meant as an insult.

Mae blinked several times, as if she were trying to sort out the memories like files in her hazy, tired mind.

“I remember… going to see Dr. Hank. My mom made me an appointment with him. I remember lying down. Talking about the journal thing I’m doing, I think? And then he said something nerdy and something I could care less about - about like controlling my destructive impulses or something, I wasn’t really listening, I didn’t want to be there in the first place. He gave me something - a shot, or a pill, I think - and then after that I was just storming out of his office. I never agreed to get buzzed up by an old fart that doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time anyhow - and then I remember going straight home, and then I was… walking through town? Sorta? I don’t know exactly what I was doing or where I was going, or when I left... something happened between that but I can’t quite remember. And then, I just remember… my feet hurt, and I was, running? I was scared for my life.I was running from someone, I think. There was something else, it was… ugh. Damn, I lost it.”

She looked herself over as if it would help her remember her previous whereabouts, and gasped when she saw the cuts and grazes that littered her arms, legs and feet. Her wrists and some parts of her arms were swollen and bruised as well. “Fuck.”

“Mae, you really don’t remember anything before that dream?” Beatrice asked, her face turning into a worried frown. It was different from her regular frown. Her muzzle-like features had a twinge of sadness and tension to them when it was a sad frown. Mae had learned to differentiate between the two a while ago.

“No? I mean- I don’t know, maybe? It’s just, I can’t quite… It’s in there, just-just not right now. I can’t think clearly. It’s like the sequences in my head have been broken up and thrown into the air. Half of them never came back down, though, apparently.” Mae drifted off, inspecting the random mischellanious injuries that were scattered throughout her body. “Pretty gnarly cuts though, what’d I do, dance through an abandoned glass factory or something?”

Gregg shrugged. “Ehh, I mean kinda, honestly? Well since you can’t seem to remember, I’ll just tell you what Angus and I saw. Err… hon?”

“I got it.” Angus said, standing behind his boyfriend and putting a protective hand on his shoulder before speaking again.

“Gregg just got off of work and we decided to take a walk. Gregg suggested the abandoned Food Donkey. Usually I wouldn’t agree with casually strolling through an off-limits area-”

“But he did it just for me!” Gregg said proudly.

“D’awww,” Mae mused despite the main point of the discussion.

“Anyways,” Angus continued. “When we got there, the windows and door were completely shattered. And when we went inside, you were…”

“Mae, you’re my best friend and I love you, don’t ever forget that,” Gregg reassured hurriedly, “… but you were crazy. Like, batshit crazy.”

“Crazy how?”

“Like six years ago times ten crazy!” Gregg exclaimed.

Angus cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“You had a bat, and-”

Oh.

“-and like, you were breaking everything and stuff, so we considered just letting you finish your spree, but-”

Oh?

“-you were talking to yourself, looking over your back, throwing yourself into the walls, picking up the glass and…”

Mae looked back down at her arms, terrified.

Ooohhhhh.

“You weren’t in your right mind, to be hurting yourself like that. You looked like you were a million miles away. You even tried to swing at Gregg a couple of times. That’s how I knew you weren’t yourself.” Angus looked down with a guilty expression on his face. “S-sorry about the bruises, by the way, I just- you were unstable. I didn’t want you to hurt yourself or anyone else. I panicked and didn’t even consider-”

“You ever throw a cat into a bath?” Gregg interjected. “It was literally like that. You were bouncing off the walls, dude! I thought I was gonna be that kid from six years ago all over again!”

Mae looked up into the distance in an unfocused daze.

“-it was insane but… raw! Your eyes were just, blank, and you were sooo mad! You passed out for a bit, but when you woke back up you freaked the hell out! Angus and I practically had to drag you back-”

“She’s not listening anymore, dipshit.” Bea commented, before the room went silent and Bea said firmly, 

“Mae.”

The cat’s head shot up and tears dribbled down her cheeks.

“...God… I-I’m… Jesus Christ, I’m s-sorry, I’m so sor-”

“Ah ah ah! Hey!” Gregg leapt up and threw a hand over Mae’s mouth. “What have I said time and time again about apologizing dude. There’s really nothing to apologize for-”

Mae scoffed and ran her hands through the tuft of hair on her head, shaking it in disbelief and swatting Gregg’s hand away.

“Ha! No, no no no no no. What the actuall Hell is wrong with you!? Nothing to apologize for!? I fucking went after you with a fucking bat! I could have really, really hurt you! I could have-”

I could have killed you, she thought, and took a deep breath through her nostrils as the tears continued to pour down her face.

“Y’know, if it makes you feel any better,” Gregg said quietly, attempting to cheer his friend up, “You’re like… pathetically small. So you really couldn’t have done any damage, to be honest.”

It didn’t work.

“Oh my God. Oh my God oh my God oh my f-fucking God, what is w r o n g with me!?” Mae sobbed and began to shake.

“Mae, that wasn’t you.” Bea placed a hand on her crying friend’s shoulder. “Obviously, whatever Dr. Hank gave you didn’t have a good affect on you. Not only was it fucked up enough that he gave something to you without your explicit consent. I bet you could sue for that. I’m gonna kick his ass, regardless, though.”

Gregg leapt forward and wound his arms around Mae, gently enough to not disrupt her wounds.

“Whoa whoa, dude, hey, it’s chill! I’m fine! You’re fine, we’re all fine, see? If anything this was a very beneficial learning experience! I mean think about it, now we know what n o t to give you drug wise, we learned that Dr. Hank is actually a lot more of a negligent dick than we thought, and now Angus knows my cigarette-snorting story!”

At the mention of that silly mishap, Mae momentarily stopped bawling and let out a giggle. “Fuck, that w-was really dumb, dude.”

“Yeah. Good times though.”

Angus knelt foward and offered Mae a box of napkins.

“I treated all of your wounds. You had a lot of glass embedded in your feet, so I would stay off of them as much as you can. They’re wrapped, though, in case you need to stand up or anything.”

Mae sniffled. “Thanks, big g-guy.”

Angus tipped his hat before continuing. “Mae? Do you remember, what it was that Dr. Hank gave you? Do you have a name or a description that I could go off of?”

Mae stilled and racked her brain.

“I-I, uhh… I think, it was an injection? But… I remember, taking the pill first, too, so.”

“Can you tell me which one felt more real to you?”

“Both of them felt pretty real. Mostly the injection though. The pill was s-small, in an oval shape. D-dark blue? And… I can’t… remember… I can’t remember when he gave me the injection. I can’t really remember when I took the pill either, or why. He wouldn’t have me start a perscription out of the blue like that. And then after that, I just- I can’t. It’s not there. I didn’t see it. I just remember feeling tired, and then scared, and then- I woke up here. S-sorry. I might remember more later?”

“Hmm, interesting. Don’t be sorry, Mae. You’ve had a rough day. I called your mom and told her you wanted to spend the night and forgot to let her know, so-”

“WOOHOO SLEEPOVER!!” Gregg screamed, completely cutting off his boyfriend. “Oh man I’m so excited I’m so excited I’m s o f u c k i n g excited!!!”

“Hon, calm down please, you’re giving me a headache.” Angus rubbed his temples before swooping Gregg up into a hug. “But yes, I am excited too, though. Now if Bea spent the night, it would be the whole gang together. We could order pizza and play video games.”

Everyone looked over at Bea expectantly, who shot each of them a sneer, before sighing deeply.

“... Fine.”

“Yeeeeaaaaahhh!” Gregg flailed his arms around crazily the best they could trapped in a bear hug.

Mae felt for her phone in her jean pockets before briskly looking around the couch and on the nearby floor. She stood up to see if she’d been laying on it. Which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t a smart move.

“Hey guys, have you seen- whh...” A wave of nausea and dizziness collided into Mae like a semi-truck and she crumpled to the side of the floor beside the furniture, breathing heavily. The room was spinning around her.

Lanky, cold hands (Beatrice, Mae knew) helped her back onto the couch and flung a nearby blanket over her.

“Maybe not stand up for a while, yeah?” She said, but her voice quickly drifted away as Mae once again found herself succumbing to the overwhelming exhaustion.

“... than… trice, wh…” she managed to let out before disappearing completely.

She dreamed of creatures and parasites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha but anyways the beginning of a plot maybe? Mystery, woo? idk i'm writing this out of boredom.  
> Real talk, though, I relate to Mae in a lot of ways. I really enjoy writing her character out and having her interact with her friends.   
> I also enjoy making fictional characters suffer as well soooo welp  
> laterz


	3. The Tedious Task That is Establishing Normality, Pt. 1

Oddly enough, when Mae stirred for the second time that night on what she assumed to be her friends’ couch, her dream lacked… whatever it was that her previous dreams usually did. For the first time in a long time, it was a genuinely normal dream, one that had no foreboding God Monster, no bat-wielding, and no fear. Gravity was as it should be, and no blood was shed. 

Perhaps it was the onslaught of dreadful visions before that led her to have a harmless dream. Perhaps her mind (or the God Monster; or both) decided to take pity on her and give her something normal for once in her goddamn life.

But the God Monster itself said that they didn’t grant pity; so she assumed it must have been her mind apologizing.

Even likelier, perhaps it was the fact that Angus was speaking, explaining the plot of the show they were watching with an intensity matched only by Gregg’s everyday attitude towards crimes. His voice had a charm about it, and Mae wondered if it were the only voice in the world that was capable of calming and taming the crazy ball of fur that was Gregg.

“So now, since almost the entire population is infected, they’re looking for a cure. But only amongst and to use for themselves, because the government will want to capitalize and take advantage of its people with it, since they were the ones that made it in the first place. And when they find it, they want to overthrow the dystopia by smuggling it to the sick for free in return for their services.”

Bea huffed.

“Sooo if they genuinely want to help the people, then why did they leave that little girl to die? Seems kind of-”

“Fishy? I know, but they’ll get into that later.”

“... I was gonna say fucked up, but yeah, fishy works too.”

“Well look at it this way - not only is the little girl essentially useless in the rebellion, but they’re giving it to people who are of high political importance. Morally gray, I understand, but people have to die for this to work. Not only that but there are others in the rebellion using it for their own purposes, regardless of the ultimate consequences. For example, if I were a part of the team, I’d smuggle some away to cure you guys behind the back of the rebellion. Even if that would potentially destroy the possibility of reestablishing humanity-”

“D’awww,” Mae finally intervened.

“Welcome back.” Bea muttered unenthusiastically. “You missed the first three episodes.”

Mae sat up and turned towards the television (slower this time, as to not pass out).

“Episodes? I thought we were playing video games?”

Gregg snorted. “Mae, it’s kinda hard to play video games when one of us is out cold and the other is obsessed with a TV show from 2007.”

“And the other doesn’t care either way and really wanted pizza.” Beatrice plucked a cigarette from her pack and whipped out a lighter. Mae didn’t realize she was being offered one until she saw that Bea already had a lit one dangling from her lips, like she always had.

‘Cigarettes are notoriously bad for you and you really shouldn’t take it.’ She thought to herself.

“Want one?” Bea nudged it to her.

“Sure,” Mae spat impulsively before mentally scolding herself for being such an indecisive pushover that only aimed to impress and please instead of making decisions for herself.

Clumsily, she flicked the lighter and took a slow drag in, pausing to cough up one of her lungs before smoothly proceeding with the rest. It smelled like death and Gregg’s hospital visit. She set it down in the ashtray on the nearby desk and pretended she would get back to it later.

“So uuhh, what show is this anyway?” Mae inquired.

Angus’ face lit up in delight.

“It’s called The True Ones. It’s about the apocalypse being made worse by normal people attempting to retain what was left of their civil lives while using spoils for themselves and slowing down the power-turning process.”

“Oh,” Mae replied, at a loss for words.

“It may sound dark and sad - which it is - but it really puts humanity into perspective concerning-”

Gregg squealed at how excited his boyfriend got about the show and tackled him to the ground happily. “What a nerd! You’re such a neeerd!”

“Think you can eat now?” Bea asked as she and Mae watched the two roll around on the floor, Angus desperately attempting to free himself from a very hyper and loud Gregg.

“Umm, yeah I could try. I am feeling pretty hungry.”

“Hope your reeaaal hungry for pizza. The pizza guy delivered a few boxes to this complex late and the people didn’t want ‘em, so he gave ‘em to us. They’re kinda cold though.” Bea gestured to the five boxes sitting beside the couch.

Mae reached over and flipped open the pizza box and shot Gregg an annoyed glare when she noticed the several crusts remaining inside.

“What? You know I don’t like the crust- ahh!” Gregg said over Angus’ shoulder, distracting himself from the playfight for too long and ultimately losing by ending up trapped in a headlock and tickled in the ribs until he couldn’t breathe.

She wholeheartedly missed the homely smell of pizza as she plucked it out of the box and the scent wafted into her damp nose.

Mae managed to get a few bites of the pizza down - on the pizza scale, it would have been at about “good” - until her stomach began to churn uneasily. A burning, acidic feeling crawled up her throat and she winced, visibly cradling her aching stomach.

“Hnnrgh, Gregg, bathroom?”

“It’s down the hall to the left,” Angus replied for him, still tickling the shit out of Gregg.

Mae bolted off the couch (ouch, her feet) and made it to the toilet just in time, slamming the seat up and vomiting the contents in her stomach and then some into the bowl. After a few more heaves, her body was light again.

She paused to aggressively wipe the remaining puke off her jaw, and listened carefully, only to realize that Gregg and Angus had stopped laughing, and Beatrice had stopped cheering them on.

‘It’s because you always fuck things up like this,’ Mae thought, sighing sadly and resting her head on the bowl, however unsanitary it might have seemed (she didn’t really care at this point).

Guilt was upon her in an instant, and she found that there wasn’t one thing that happened tonight she didn’t feel bad for. Nearly killing Gregg, imposing on him and Angus, making Beatrice worry, throwing up pizza and miscellaneous stomach contents into their shiny toilet, dragging them into the mess that was her life in the first place…

She wanted nothing more but to drown herself in the toilet water and vomit combo sitting before her, and briefly wondered if she were small enough to flush down into the sewer without being dismembered.

Mae didn’t get up and leave the bathroom until she heard at least a semblance of a discussion occurring outside of the door - and after she cleaned herself up and the toilet the best she could. Still smelled like pukey pizza, though. When she got up to leave, she briefly glimpsed at herself in the mirror and saw that there had been a gash on her cheek too, just beneath her eye, reaching into the far corner of her mouth as if she were attempting to carve a smile into her face. And although she couldn’t remember it at all, she couldn’t say she was surprised.

Stumbling slowly down the hallway, she saw that they had put in a video game and were waiting for her to return and play it. Again, she felt bad. 

“Sorry. I’m dying I think.” Mae muttered halfheartedly, throwing herself on the armrest of the couch beside the others. She still didn’t know how they could all manage to sit on there together, but was incredibly proud for some stupid reason, as if their closeness on the couch actually represented their closeness as friends.

“Technically,” Angus began with a factual tone, “We’re all dying.”

“Yippy.” Bea sarcastically cheered, lighting up another cigarette.

“Mine is definitely accelerated.” Mae mused. “If I die before Gregg I’m going to be very disappointed.”

“Same but, stop stalling and push start already, Mae!” Gregg squeaked, flinging her a handle that she barely caught.

A catchy theme song played that signalled the start of the game and they all began rapidly pushing buttons, until Bea cleared her throat and began speaking.

“Soooo. Mae.”

“Thaaat’s meee.” Mae responded, still intensely focused on the game, praying that this conversation wouldn’t have to do with anything the night before.

“You remember anything?”

The God Monster was right. God was the devil.

“From the other night? Nope.”

“You said in your dream, you saw God?”

“Nah. It wasn’t God.”

“Oh. I thought you said it was God.”

Gregg snickered. “Geez Beatrice, you’ve never taken interest in Mae’s dreams like this until now.”

Bea’s pixellated character killed Gregg’s on the screen.

“Hey!”

“I’m just worried. Last time Mae said she had weird dreams, shit hit the fan.”

“Yeah. Uh. About that, actually,” Mae said. She shifted uncomfortably on the couch and cleared her throat.

“Oh great.”

Gregg shot Mae a bewildered look.

“How? It can’t be about what happened that night, could it? There was a cave in, for Pete’s sake!”

Angus readjusted his glasses. “I’m 99.9% sure that every single one of those people died down there. And I’m very good at numbers.”

Beatrice huffed smoke. “They had to have died. I mean, there’s no way they couldn’t have-”

“But what if there’s more of them?” Mae spat, casually killing both Beatrice and Greggory onscreen simultaneously. “I mean, when we saw them that first time, when they… I thought I saw so many more of them. And the God Monster, the one in my dream, I think he was insinuating that there’s more of them out there. Way more, and that they had to have been like… raised into this kinda thing. We’re talking children. Teens that wake up and go to school and come home and change into those suits and then meet up in the woods.”

Mae slaughtered Angus’ character.

“I mean think about it. If it were a cult focusing on the preservation of Possum Springs, like they said they were all about in the first place, they would raise their own to… at the very least fit into the sort of lifestyle. To make it easy to join and hard to walk away from when provided the opportunity. You heard what that one guy said? About his kids? I just- I dunno. I just get a feeling that what happened down there isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. I feel like we just brushed a web to get they fly out and the spider felt the vibration and now he’s angry and his eggs are hatching. You get what I’m saying? Does that make sense?”

“Not the male hatching egg part, but-”

A flashing victory screen appeared over Mae’s character, who jumped up and down excitedly, the polar opposite of what the group in the room were doing. Mae continued to push random buttons although it had no effect and she pressed on. Her hands began to shake.

“It sounds stupid and unbelievable and unrealistic and childish but like when I walk through town I don’t feel safe anymore since that night. Not like before, not knowing that the people I talk to when I go down the street could potentially be killing random citizens of Possum Springs on their freetime and shit. Honestly, I’m terrified. We don’t know who any of them are but they all know our names and maybe even where we live-”

“Dude.”

“-and they for sure know our parents and for sure probably know where they live-”

“Mae!”

“And all we can do here is sit like ducks until another bad thing happens to us or those we care about and face the backlash of murdering a dozen or so cult members in the woods who had kids and lives and jobs and friends and-”

*Knock knock knock*

Mae jumped out of her skin and the room went silent. They eyed each other fearfully. Angus leapt to his feet and approached the door slowly, not making a sound. He cautiously peered through the peep hole and let out a sigh of relief.

“Mae. It’s your parents.”

“Oh fuck me.” Mae spat before he pulled open the door and her mother ran in and engulfed her in a heavily-perfumed hug.

“Mae, you didn’t answer your phone and I was worried about you!”

“Sorry, mom.” She said bleakly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, mom.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine, mom.”

“Hey, Mr. Borowski,” Beatrice nodded to the gentleman patiently standing outside the door.

“Heya, Bea. How’s your dad?”

“Better. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know. Got dragged here by Candy when Mae didn’t answer her twenty or so calls. Even though Angus already called and said she got here alright. Had to triple check.”

Mae squirmed her way out of her moms grasp only to regret having her mother meticulously inspect her many gashes and cuts.

“Oh dear, what happened? Did you fall?”

Mae’s ears drooped and she looked down at the floor.

“I, uhh…”

“We were hiking in the woods earlier and she tripped over her own two feet, Mrs. B.” Gregg finished. Mae mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to Gregg as her mother went over and hugged him, too.

“Thank you all so much for taking care of my clumsy little Mae. Why, if her head weren’t attached, I don’t know what she’d do!”

“It’s no problem,” Angus said politely, tipping his hat. “Mae’s our friend. It’s kind of our thing.”

Mae’s mom made a happy humming noise before turning to her daughter and placing a motherly hand on her shoulder.

“Mae, you need to be more careful, hon! One wrong landing and, boom! You’re done.”

“I know, mom.”

“This is worse than you looked after that hunter scared you out by the woods!”

“... Yeah, mom.”

“Anyways, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that Dr. Hank contacted me earlier and wants me to deliver his sincerest apologies.”

“... What?” Mae inquired, taking the slightest step away from her mom to get a better look at her expression.

“Oh, he wrote me this morning and said that he had accidentally misdiagnosed you, honey! Happens all the time in his field!”

“It’s not supposed to, at least.” Bea interjected with a suspicious glint in her eye.

Mae’s mom shrugged. “Oh, for sure! But mistakes happen all the time. And he just wants me to let you know how bad he feels for giving you the wrong treatment-”

“If I may,” Angus raised a polite paw. “What treatment did she receive, exactly?”

Mae’s father stepped into the room. “I dunno exactly what it was, but it was for a patient coming in later that day. Said his assistant jumbled up some of the paperwork or something and he ended up giving our little Mae something she wasn’t ever supposed to. He never gave me a name, just some kinda shot. And then he begged me not to take legal action.”

“You should,” Bea spat.

“Oh believe me, I would if I could, and then some, but I can’t. He left town.”

Mae blinked a few times. “W-what?”

“Dr. Hank’s mistake made him feel awful, baby, he just up and left. Didn’t grab anything from his office or say goodbye or anything.” Mae’s mom spoke sadly.

‘He’s dead.’ Mae thought. Her head began to hurt.

“He never intended to give you a shot. That’s why you stormed off, isn’t it? I know my baby Mae doesn’t like shots.”

Mae hissed in embarrassment. “I hate shots. But I mean, how could he have mixed me up with another patient when I’ve been seeing him for six years straight?”

“We’re all getting old, but sometimes slip-ups like this just happen regardless.” Candy ruffled the tuft of hair on Mae’s head. “But he did say that it was harmless and would be out of your system in a day or so. How are you feeling? Any different? Happier, perhaps? Maybe more relaxed?”

‘I mean, I almost killed my friend, and myself, at the same time.’ She thought bitterly.

“... Yeah mom I was fine. Just restless, was all. Made me fidgety.”

‘Eh. Close enough.’

“Oh, I had no idea he would leave, he would probably feel much better knowing you’re just fine!”

Would he, though?

“I guess he’s the type of guy that can’t handle guilt.”

Mae looked back and gave her friend’s a quick glance, all of them thinking the same thing.

“Or he just feared the worst and didn’t want to be there for the backlash.” Mae’s dad huffed as he pulled Mae in for a hug.

“We’ll find you another doctor soon, alright kitten? Even if Hank were still in town, I wouldn’t want you seeing him again.”

“Thanks dadders.”

Her parents hugged everyone in the room one last time before departing.

“Thank you for watching over our little Mae, you three, really.” Candy preached solemnly. “It means the world to us to know that you watch over her when she’s down, both emotionally and in the physical, literal sense.”

“No prob.”

“Yeah man! It’s practically our second job!!”

“I take the roll of parent-friend very seriously.”

Mae waved to her parents. “I’ll be home tomorrow at some point.”

“Bye, sweetie! Get some rest! Take it easy, and watch where you step!”

And with that, they were out the door, and left the four of them standing in silence.

Mae rubbed the fur that stood on end on her shoulder.

“... Left town, huh?” Mae growled.

“That doesn’t really sound like something Dr. Hank would do.” Gregg glared.

“Not to mention that the accidental mistreatment of medication needs to be reported immediately, not by letting the parents know like a side note and then taking off out of the blue,” Angus said, aggressively pushing his glasses up.

“There’s no way he would leave town if this were just a typical ‘misdiagnosis’, so he had to have known how it…” Bea stomped her cigarette into the ground.

“... Well…” Mae sighed heavily and plopped onto the couch. 

“… Well, fuck me, I guess, I dunno. But he’s gone, right? He left, didn’t he? Maybe it was just one great big fuck up in the line of casual fuck-ups that is my life?? And he just, got sick of Possum Springs like the rest of us?”

Gregg hummed as an idea came to him. “… Or did he?”

“Gregg, pal, you’re really not helping this much. The other explanation already sounds better.” Mae rubbed her eyes tiredly. 

“Hear me out, hear me out! Ask your mom how she knows he left.”

“I dunno where my phone is.”

“It’s right under your foot dipshit.”

“Oh. Ok hold on… … … she says it was a note on the door… and that it says he took the train earlier that morning with his suitcase and cellphone to stay with distant family?”

“That’s not suspicious at all,” Beatrice rolled her eyes. “As if up and leaving after drugging up the wrong patient wasn’t enough, I mean.”

Gregg’s ears twitched and he gestured to the door wildly with his hands, barely able to contain himself.

“Okay okay, look look look, I know I shouldn’t be excited about this, like at all… But! If he really did leave, wouldn’t that make his old office… abandoned?”

Angus facepalmed and Bea shook her head in disappointment.

Mae caught his eye as he spoke.

“It would be a good way to see if he actually left like he did. What do you think, Mae? Crimes?”

After a couple of seconds, Mae stood up and nodded firmly.

“... Crimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle reminder that plot development ideas are completely welcomed seeing that I have half a semblance of an okay idea scribbled on the back of a sheet of paper in the far corner of my mind and aside from that have no idea what I'm doing lmao  
> Also, crime.


	4. The Tedious Task that is Establishing Normality Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy  
> Real talk tho I love Night in the Woods so goddamn much, but I hate my writing lmao I feel like im not giving it justice or portraying it with the style it should have. One of the most enjoyable and refreshing aspects of that game was that there was a sense of flow/stability that didn’t make it rushed so like after jumping in like this im def gonna try to focus on Mae and her daily life adventures like in the games and make it seem more cannon if that makes sense?  
> Also thanks so much for those who have commented/left ideas/paid attention to me, know that I have acknowledged them and plan to incorporate as many aspects and ideas as I can without seeming overbearing, but nothing super big will happen for a while. After this chapter, at least, huehuehueh.  
> Yall too good to me lmao  
> Enjoy I suppose ? ??  
> (Also “And the Little Creature Asks if I am God” has a much better ring to it than “I am Tired of Speaking of God” to me so I’ve been contemplating changing it back what do yall think bout it tell me your t h o u g h t s)  
> (Also also I didn't edit this sorry woops)

There was a whirlwind of preparation - partly fueled by the uncontainable excitement on Gregg’s part - as they braced themselves for the potential discoveries and confrontations that lie ahead. 

Gregg packed his shiny new crossbow, a proud replacement of the old crappy one he was forced to abandon in the now supposedly inaccessible mine. Bea asked to borrow his knives, and didn’t really know why she asked to do so, because she was going to take them regardless. Angus didn’t necessarily pack any weaponry or self-defense materials of any sort - when push came to shove, he couldn’t see why he could just tackle the fucker into the ground if need be. He did pack a first aid kit, some water, a few snacks, a flashlight, and a flare though. Just in case, he said, with a twinge of spite and fear in his usually calm and centered voice. Just in case.

Mae made sure to grab her handy bat along for the ride, but refused to lift it anywhere above her ears unless they were in immediate danger and she was at least three steps away from her friends, after… well, just to be safe, she thought to herself solemnly.

They hustled to the car, Bea aggressively huffing a cigarette between her pursed lips, Gregg wildly fidgeting with his crossbow, and Angus repeatedly cracking his knuckles in an almost intimidating manner.

And although Mae was obviously extremely thankful to have such caring and outgoing friends who would sail the seven seas and back to ensure her safety, the guilt never waned.

They hastily crammed themselves into the car for crime time and the majority of the ride was in an uneasy silence. Dr. Hank lived quite far from the town, not far enough for it to be considered “in the middle of nowhere”, but far enough to the point where Mae ditched several appointments because the walk was just too damn long, and she liked walking. The radio was off and all that could be heard was the puffing of smoke, the fiddling of a crossbow, and the cracking of knuckles.

Needless to say, this wasn’t normal.

Mae cleared her throat. It’s been too long since something between her and her friends was actually considered normal since the whole killer-dad-cult fiasco. Since before they found that severed arm sitting just outside the Klik Klak. Time to establish some normality. Small talk usually worked, didn’t it? Small talk between friends was pretty normal with the four of them, right?

“... Soooo, Gregg, Angus?” Mae started awkwardly.

“Yes?”

“What’s up dude?” They replied simultaneously.

“How’s The Plan moving along? On track for the harbor?” 

“It’s a work in progress, as is everything, but it is indeed moving along.” Angus said matter of factly as he nodded to himself, almost as if to reassure himself of his own answers.

“Yeah man! Bright Harbor, here we come!” Gregg whooped, thrusting his fist in the air and nearly hitting Angus in the face. Angus didn’t so much as flinch. Ah, that was normal, so to speak.

“That’s so cool.” Mae spoke excitedly. “Dude, I’m totally gonna visit you guys when you’re settled in.”

“I agree,” Angus affirmed.

“Dude, that would be awesome! We could stay up all night eating pizza and playing that stupid video game!” Gregg exclaimed.

“... How about you, Mae?” Bea questioned. She briefly removed the smoke from her lips and glanced at her friend from the corner of her eye. “You come up with a plan of your own yet?”

“I mean like, I have some rough ideas, and stuff.” Mae shrugged.

“Sooo no, then.”

“Like obviously I can’t just go back to uni.”

“Have you considered an appeal?” Angus offered. “To allow you back on their campus? If it were a mental health issue, you could potentially-”

“Nope. Not for a second. Haha.”

“Oh.”

“Hmm.” Bea hummed, obviously not amused, but ultimately letting the matter drop.

“Hey dude, if going to the campus wasn’t your thing, then why don’t you just take online classes? We may not have phone service but some places here do have wifi.” Gregg suggested.

Mae was silent for a moment.

“... That’s… actually not a bad idea, Gregg. Yeah, I’ll talk to my parents about it. Might be kinda expensive though.”

“Taco Buck is hiring.” Angus said quickly.

“But I don’t wanna work in fast foooood.” Mae groaned, throwing her head back overdramatically. “Fast food suuuuucks.”

Angus hummed in thought. “Understandable. But you get free meals every shift and a 50% discount off the clock. The winner of their bi-annual Taco eating contest gets a raise and unlimited Nachos and Tiny Tacos until next contest.”

“Holy mother of god…” Mae deeply inhaled through her nose and leant back as if she were in a trance. “So much food… so many tacos…”

She turned around to see Angus eagerly waiting for a response, a sly look on his face.

“ … Alriiight, alright, I’ll… definitely look into it.”

“Yeah, check us out Angus, settin’ Mae up for life!”

“We did good, hon.”

Beatrice snorted. “Angus, how do you know so much about Taco Buck?”

“I literally only researched all of their benefits and employee discounts specifically to coerce Mae to work there.”

“D’awwwww,”

Angus tipped his hat.

That was a nice, normal and beneficial conversation between friends. Wasn’t it? She pondered, guilt still tight in her throat and heavy in her empty stomach. A bizarre blend of anxiety and desperation clawed through her mind like nails down a chalkboard. She lowered her head in shame.

“... You know, you guys didn’t have to come with me. I’m just saying, I could knock on the door and go from there. You really don’t have to constantly trouble yourselves with my problems anymore. Especially not after all the shit I dragged you into earlier. Especially not when you have your own problems to deal with.”

Silence washed over the car.

“... What?” Mae asked.

“Did you guys hear something?” Beatrice asked with a smirk on her face.

“No. And I have excellent hearing.” Angus’ ears twitched.

“I didn’t hear anything either.” Gregg shrugged.

“Weird. I thought I heard someone talking.”

“What the fuck you guys?” Mae chuckled. A warmth swelled in her chest. God, she loved her friends.

“We’re here.” Beatrice nodded up ahead to the small building sitting on the ridge of the hill. It looked a lot smaller and cozier on the outside, but Mae knew that the inside was vastly different. Turns out first impressions weren’t everything, she mused.

“Yyyyeeeeaaahhh!” Gregg whooped, happily tapping on his shiny new crossbow and excitedly bumping into Angus’ shoulder, before completely forgetting what he was cheering about and affectionately nuzzling against his boyfriend instead. Angus gladly cuddled back.

A happy purr buzzed through Mae’s throat - it was something she didn’t do often, only in front of her friends - and she barely contained the urge to pull out her phone and snap a picture while they weren’t looking. Maybe she’d get around to it later. She needed that kind of adorableness right now. She should’ve “d’awww”ed here, she thought to herself.

Beatrice pulled off to the side of the dirt road at the base of the hill, beneath the shade of the looming, dense trees lining the outskirts of the path. She aggressively twisted the car keys and yanked them out of the ignition, Mae’s remaining friends exiting the car with similar, almost angry demeanors.

Mae hopped out, gently closing the passenger door behind her, despite the other doors being slammed rather roughly.

“We uh, parked aways out.” Mae remarked and scratched behind her ear as they gathered at the front of the car and looked up at Dr. Hanks homely looking house.

“Yup,” Bea nodded, lighting a new cigarette to calm her endless nerves. “Just in case.”

Just in case.

They began to trudge up the hill, insisting that Mae stay in the middle (god, she loved her friends).

“Why were askin’ all that stuff in the car, dude?” Gregg inquired, lightly pushing her shoulder to get her attention.

Mae looked away.

“Uhh. I dunno. I mean, we’re about to break into a potentially dead guys’ house? Usually it’s normal but in this instance-”

“Whoa whoa whoa wait-” Bea paused to turn around and give her a look of disbelief, the gravel beneath her shoes crunching and shifting as she spoke. “… Potentially dead?”

“Just a feeling I had.” Mae stated bluntly.

“Oh great.”

“I dunno. This, what we’re doing? It isn’t normal. What we went through? Not normal either. I just want- I need something - anything! - to be normal. A little normal, at least.” Mae confessed, running her furry hands through her hair.

“What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” Angus remarked, and Bea couldn’t help but giggle at the reference she’d influenced on him.

Mae shot him a sarcastic grin. “Thanks big guy, that helps a lot.”

“Angus is right, fuck normal!” Gregg swatted the back of Mae’s head, earning him an irritated look as they finally neared the extensive front yard.

“Sweetheart that wasn’t really what I was referring-” 

“Normal’s hella boring! Let’s go tear that guy’s place up! And if he’s there let’s kick his ass to the ground, and if he’s dead, let’s poke him with a stick!”

“I’m down.” Bea grunted.

When they got close enough to look through the windows, Angus stopped and the group gazed up at it curiously. It was a pretty nice place, a dark red brick house lined with birdhouses and all kinds of flowers.

“It looks like nobody’s home,” Angus observed, “but I would feel much better about this whole breaking and entering thing if we had a plan.”

“Way ahead of you, dude.” Mae said proudly, unsheathing her bat and giving her arms a brief stretch.

 

“Oh my god,” Bea huffed, throwing a palm over her face.

“Um. Mae,” Angus wavered, “I meant a plan that didn’t actually mean breaking into Dr. Hank’s house by force. Not without a valid excuse at least.”

“I got this Angus!” Gregg said eagerly. He stood a few feet in front of Mae and pulled out an old, worn baseball from his pocket (how did that even fit there?)

“Batter up!” He hollered loudly before chucking the ball directly at Mae as hard as his feeble arms could. Mae raised the bat and swung at the ball with a loud CRACK that echoed throughout the leaves and startled the several birds that remained after Gregg’s high-pitched shout. The ball went flying towards the house and collided directly into one of the front glass windows. The brief sound of glass shattering made Mae feel ecstatic and accomplished.

She bit back the urge to laugh. The giddy that rushed through her veins at the sound of destruction was unnerving.

“Oh, no.” Mae began sarcastically, flinging the bat back over her shoulder nonchalantly. “I accidentally hit our baseball right through that poor guy’s window. I feel awfully terrible.”

“Yeah we better go get it, huh?” Gregg said with an equally amused tone, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “And see if he’s there so we can ask to pay for the damages our reckless behavior has caused.”

“That would be the right and proper thing to do in this situation, dear Greggorry.” Mae nodded.

Bea shook her head in disbelief. “God, you two, you’ve been doing this for way too long.” She scoffed. They all resumed trudging to the house.

Gregg hopped up the painted porch steps and moved to knock on the door. His knuckles barely grazed the door before it gently creaked open, moonlight flooding in behind him, casting a silhouette of the four standing in the agape doorway.

“... Door’s wide open.” Gregg said a little uncomfortably. He readjusted his crossbow.

Mae followed in behind him. She grasped her bat tightly, palms aching from the unrelenting grip. A faint click sounded behind her and Angus shot the flashlight throughout the all too familiar interior - a nicely decorated house, with cheesy framed quotes lined throughout the halls. The only sign of violence or strangeness was the baseball sitting in the midst of broken glass just in front of the gaping window.

“His office is that way. Where he treats the patients. I mean, where he treated the patients.” Mae pointed to the right doorway with her bat, and when they opened the door, nothing looked at all different. Except maybe the dozen or so family photos that he had in her were now nowhere to be seen.

Angus lurked around the front room and the other surrounding rooms, looking for any signs of dormancy or a break-in. He returned to the office with a thumbs-up. The place was bonafide abandoned.

“Not gonna lie, nothing looks… super fishy here.” Bea said. She sat in Dr. Hank’s chair and twirled around as she smoked. “Maybe it was just an outlandish accident and it was a slip up worse enough to end his career. All the tension from earlier might have just made us assume the worst. I know I did. Still kinda wanna drop kick him into the sun, though.”

“I think I… remember something.” Mae scratched her ear, looking over the many bookshelves lining the office walls. “It’s trivial and probably not important like at all, but I remember something.”

“Anything helps, dude.” Gregg said, standing beside Angus as he sifted through the papers on Dr. Hanks old desk.

“Well, I just… I dunno. He seemed tired. And sad. Not like his cheery, dumb old self, you know? Almost depressed. Struck me as odd.”

Bea got up and went to walk to the bookshelf. Her boot caught on the ornate, bulky rug beneath her and she caught herself just in time before she hit the ground. Gregg snickered mischievously.

“Hea Bea, have a nice trip?”

“Oh shut up. Almost ate shit because of this dumb thing.” 

Mae walked up to it with a wide smirk.

“Yeah, I always trip over it on my way in because I forget it’s there. He says the floorboards underneath it aren’t even. He put a sign up for it, see?” Mae pointed to the embroidered “Patients, please watch your step!” sign just above the rug.

“Mae,” Angus said as he continued looking down at the desk papers. “These documents mention another room with medical equipment.”

“We’ve been through every room, though. He must’ve taken his shit with him. Unless they’re like… in his attic or some shit, I dunno.”

Gregg squinted down at the rug inquisitively. “Or a basement.”

Angus waltzed up beside them and gave the rug a good tug, revealing the off-center wooden door underneath.

A wave of nausea hit Mae like a truck.

“Jackpot!” Gregg exclaimed.

“I feel sick.” Mae muttered in response.

The four of them heaved the heavy wooden door open and a gust of cold air wafted from underneath. As they descended carefully, Angus and Gregg in the lead with a flashlight and a crossbow, they approached another door. Gregg jumped forward and gave the knob a firm turn - wasn’t locked - and went to push it open. From the other side, the sound of cardboard and miscellaneous items shifting could be heard. 

“Damn! It’s blocked from the other side. Angus?”

“Yeah, I got it. Scoot over.”

“I feel sick.” Mae repeated, her vision faltering. Dread shot up her spine. She didn’t like this. She didn’t want to do this anymore.

“Did you want to go back upstairs with me?” Beatrice offered.

“... No, I’ll be alright. I just feel off.”

“It’s pretty blocked up,” Angus turned to them, “but it feels like it might give if we all push at the same time.” Angus gestured towards the door. They all lined up the best they could in the tiny basement doorway.

“Okay, on the count of three.” Gregg said. They each braced themselves for impact. 

“One… two… three!”

The door burst open before Mae even had a chance to slam into it after Bea, and she went toppling down the staircase to the basement - not an unfamiliar occurrence, but one that still hurt like a bitch each time nonetheless. Especially considering the fact that since the door was no longer there to break her fall, she had essentially thrown herself down a staircase cluttered with junk and boxes. She groaned and weakly sat up, her ears still ringing as she heard her friends race down the stairs behind her. Her head bumped into something as she lifted herself up the best she could off the ground, and heard the ceiling squeak above her. The object that had bumped her rocked backwards and went to bump her again before she quickly dodged it. Curious, she looked up to see what it was. 

…A shoe? Why would-

Oh.

Slowly, she looked up.

Dr. Hank swayed back and forth lifelessly from the top of the ceiling. His eyeballs had burst from his sockets and dangled loosely from his skull, occasionally rolling around on his cheeks as he rocked back and forth against his whiskers. They gazed down at Mae forebodingly as she inspected the noose wrapped taught around his neck connected to the light fixture above him, and she remembered - he had been wearing the same get-up from her meeting just the other day. She remembered running out that morning, and watched him sit in the same spot, clutching his paws together, unmoving. Thinking. It seemed like it was just this morning that he was sitting across from her at his table, asking her all these unfamiliar questions, thinking.

Based on the sweet unpleasant smell, however, this couldn’t have been a recent occurrence.

A clawed hand grabbed her elbow and firmly yanked her back away from it, and its owner was probably talking to her, but Mae found herself completely enthralled in the body that had been Dr. Hank, his head limply dangling to the side, his tongue swollen, barely visible from behind his rows of jagged teeth. The eyes were still looking down at her. His ears were down, flat against his head. He still looked incredibly sad.

“Oh my god,” Gregg commented, turning away and clinging onto Angus as they stood at the bottom of the staircase while Beatrice dragged a shocked Mae away from the body.

This wasn’t actually what any of them were expecting to see.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Mae barely whispered, her fearful gaze still upon Dr. Hank. She couldn’t stop thinking why. She staggered backwards and threw up all over the floor for the second time that night.

Bea gently cradled her friend as she quivered uncontrollably, and Angus took it upon himself to (while clutching Gregg to his side so that he didn’t have to look), step meekly forward and inspect the corpse.

“Suicide,” he said blankly. “Had to have been dead for two days at least.” He looked around the room, and amongst a pile of paperwork in the far back corner, clear, empty medicine bottles littered the desk.

“I’m gonna go call the police, okay?” Beatrice rubbed Mae’s back before gesturing for Gregg to come over while Angus took this opportunity to further investigate the desk and Dr. Hank’s belongings. Beatrice went partly up the stairs and pulled out her phone.

“Dude, you okay?” Greggorry asked. Mae looked back up to the corpse silently.

“I don’t…”

“Don’t look, dude. C’mon,”

“What he’s wearing. I remember. That’s what he was wearing the day of the appointment. He was wearing that exact same thing. He asked me something funny. If I had plans to leave Possum Springs soon. I told him I didn’t know. He was sad.”

They sat and stared at the outfit in silence, Gregg putting two and two together and kneeling down beside his best friend, winding an arm around her comfortingly.

“I know this is scary, but let’s try to think about it using what we have. Maybe… your mom was right, dude. I mean yeah, he was kinda an airhead, but maybe he messed up, and-”

“This wasn’t my fault was it?” Mae asked hurriedly. Her hands began to shake again and her eyes watered. “I didn’t- he didn’t k-kill himself, because of me, did he? I didn’t do this, right? This wasn’t my-”

“Whoa. Dude.” Gregg held tighter. “Dude, no. Stop. It’s not like that. It’s nothing like that, don’t think for a second that that’s what happened. This isn’t your fault. Not even a little. I think he just… he probably bit off more than he could chew, made a mistake, and didn’t want-”

“Molly’s on her way.” Beatrice said with a hint of relief, standing behind Mae and calmly petting the tuft of dyed fur between her nervously twitching ears. 

“What’d you tell her?” Gregg questioned.

“We were playing baseball in the woods and we came here to ask if Mr. Hank was alright. Heard creaking downstairs and went to see if he was there. She’ll figure out exactly what happened.”

“Like it’s not obvious? He…” Mae’s voice wandered off.

“This doesn’t make sense.” Angus remarked, walking up behind the three with a few stacks of paperwork and empty bottles in his hand. He moved to stuff them in his pockets before continuing. 

“Mrs. Borowski said she got a note from him sometime this morning saying he left town, but he had to have been dead by then. This whole thing is very, very shady.”

Mae sniffed. “I-I remember him wearing that exact same outfit the day I came in to see him.”

“It had to have been right after, then.” Angus said with a twinge of sadness to it. “If not later that same evening. I’m no forensic anthropologist, but if this were suicide, it was either a pre-written the note, or someone else wrote it for him. My guess, it was either a planned suicide, or a shoddily-committed murder. I think the first is likeliest.” 

Angus pushed his glasses up and set a comforting hand on Mae’s shoulder, discreetly moving her discarded bat out of sight. “This is not your fault. This is his own or someone else’s doing. You’re okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

But Mae didn’t feel okay. And although Angus and Gregg and Bea just, always knew what to say and what to do and how to respond in moments like this, in situations like this, she just- she wasn’t okay. It felt like the world was crumbling around her again, not shapes per se, but something else. Something awful and horrible and writhing and panic-inducing and guilt-tugging and heartbreaking and she was in the middle of it, the culprit, the spark, the hole in the center of everything that swallowed everyone else up around her and distorted them into shapes and corpses and forgotten memories she’d die to remember again.

Beatrice continued to pet her hair, Gregg’s grip didn’t let up, and Angus’ hand was still on her shoulder. With the comfort of her friends, she brought her paws up to her eyes and shielded them as she sobbed for the second time that night, either concealing her tears from her friends or keeping herself from looking up at that damn body again. She could still hear it, though. The creak of the ceiling above her. The only sound that constantly reminded her of Mr. Hank dangling loosely from above her, like a god of sorts.

And it was all she could hear until the sirens finally drowned them out.


	5. The Next Best Thing to Normal is Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhheck guys I was not expecting so much support and kindness and aaagh I was not ready  
> Shoutout to spotty8ee for drawing!!??? that last scene!!?!!?!? Im dead basically I’m so happy please check it out if you havent I gah I just, yeah, if you guys wanna draw scenes or write from this or anything like that you don’t even have to ask I love it when people make stuff of my stuff for the stuff I love it so soso sosososo much boi, sorry it took so long for me to upload its because I hate myself haha  
> My tumblr is @dirty-dish-butter for those of you curious or interested  
> Special thanks to my friend smwhrinwndrlnd97 who helped edit and beta! <3 She also wrote a bomb ass story called Bruised and Black and Lame for NitW and it's hella good i highly recommend you read and love 10/10 the feels are real good go do that rn  
> Anyways things seem like they’re finally settling down for mae (they’re not but she don’t know that lmao)

When Molly dropped Mae off home after some light questioning and the overbearing motherly comfort thereafter, she solemnly explained to her parents what Mae and her friends had the displeasure of discovering earlier that night. The officer then provided some resources for them to utilize in the form of Possum Springs Behavioral Health Clinic informative packets. Several actually, ranging from “PTSD Treatment” (which Mae thought was a little over the top for her liking but definitely not unlikely), to “Dealing with Depression” (okay, that was a little more likely). Therein contained methods and services, as well as an extensive list of nearby alternative doctors and psychiatrists available to them as replacements for Dr. Hank. The packets also included a list of the people she could talk to after finding said doctor hanging in his basement. Her parents cradled Mae silently, tried and failed to get her to eat something, then sent her off to bed. They tucked her in like they did when she was small, pulled the covers up to her chin, and kissed her on the forehead- snug as a bug in a rug. They kept her light on and let her rest.

But Mae didn’t sleep at all that night.

So she stayed in bed the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that. On the fourth day, Candy and Stan Borowski finally coaxed her out of bed with breakfast tacos from Taco Buck, which Mae only agreed to because the hunger pains were killing her, and because she was told it was a gift from her friends. They desperately tried to start conversation, but Mae simply had nothing to say. She stayed like that for a week or so, distant and unresponsive, staying in the sanctuary of her familiar home, neglecting to check her messages or shower in favor of sleeping or crying beside the toilet waiting for the next time she was going to throw up.

Candy’s heartfelt prayers were answered when her daughter finally came downstairs for a reason other than to use the bathroom or sleep on the couch, freshly showered at that, and slowly and carefully pulled herself up onto the counter like normal.

_ Well, as normal as it could get from here _ , Mae thought as she unconsciously cradled her aching stomach.

“Hey, sweetie. Sleep well?”

Mae shook her head no, bloodshot eyes barely visible under her furrowed brows.

“No, but better than last night. The pills helped a little. Thanks.”

“I’m glad to hear that honey,” her mom cooed. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really. I got some spaghetti down yesterday, but threw up what was left of it this morning before I got in the shower. I don’t really wanna push my luck right now.”

“Oh, honey,” her mother said sadly. “Don’t you worry; your father and I are working on getting you a doctor very soon. The closest one is in Bright Harbor. Dr. Thornwin, I believe. I’ve only read very good reviews about him!”

“Ok,” Mae shrugged, looking at her own reflection in the counter tiles and immediately regretting it. Even after a week or so of empty sleep, she looked like complete and utter shit. She always looked like walking shit, come to think of it. Even when she wasn’t sick. She hated her big beady eyes and ugly patchy fur and washed out hair and torn up ear.

“-does that sound like fun, dear?”

Mae looked back up to see her mother awaiting a response.

“Uhh. . . sorry, Mom, I was zoning out.”

“Your father and I were planning a vacation up at Bright Harbor later on in the year. Maybe. . . well, maybe we could stay there for a while, rent the house out. If it’s real nice, well, we. . .” Her mom trailed off. “You could be closer to your doctor and we would be getting paid better money. How’s that sound to you?”

Bright Harbor. . . that was the place that Gregg wanted to move to with Angus, right? And although Mae knew she heard her mother insinuating that they could potentially be leaving Possum Springs for good, she was too sick and too tired to care. As far as she was concerned after the other night, Possum Springs could rot.

And after the mine incident, she was pretty sure that it was about to.

“Sounds good, Mom.” Mae nodded weakly. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“That’s great to hear! What are you up to today?”

“. . . I dunno. What time is it?”

“Mmmm, 2:47 pm. You’re early today, haha!”

“Heh, yeah. I’ll probably stop by and say hi to my friends. Maybe pick up an application at the new taco place they have down the street.”

At the mention of her daughter getting a job, Candy’s ears twitched and she smirked widely.

“Oooh, lookin’ to get some cash, huh?”

Mae shrugged indifferently. “Yeah. Uh… mom?” She began. 

“Yes, Mae?”

Mae sat in silence for several minutes, realizing that she had barely discussed her previous college attendance (then the dropping out thereafter), and had no clue how to go about telling her mother about Gregg’s idea.

_ She would probably be ecstatic _ , Mae thought optimistically. Though she knew how happy her mother would be about the idea, discussing anything having to do with herself or to any of her several screwups in the past was always the hardest thing to talk about. Mae’s fingers tapped nervously on the counter.

“. . . Honey?”

“. . . Eh, I’ll tell you about it later. I’m gonna go stop by Taco Buck and say hi to my friends before dark.” 

“Alright, sweetie, just be careful, and watch where you step out there! Wouldn’t want you falling down again,” Mae’s mother cooed softly before returning her attention to her book, leaving Mae to slide herself off the counter and out the door.

* * *

 

As Mae stepped outside, she was surprised to hear the crunch of snow beneath her boots. It wasn’t enough to hinder her walk, and oddly enough, it wasn’t cold enough for her to run inside and grab her hoodie. She looked out at the yard, eyes squinting due to the blinding brightness of the fresh sheet of snow before her. The sun managed to peek between the almost inseparable clouds in the sky, and gradually began to destroy the remnants of what had been ice and thin snow. It was kind of pretty, actually.

And although the air wasn’t too chilly and the sky wasn’t too cloudy, something felt. . . off. Mae found herself looking over her shoulder several times on her regular commute, keeping an eye out for shifty activities or missing neighbors. 

True to her word, she stopped at Taco Buck and asked Dan for an application (to which he replied with a worried and startled expression before hesitantly complying) before hopping up the stairs to the church.

She spotted Kate in front, sweeping the church patio. The snow shovel and the rake behind her told Mae that she must have been out here for quite some time. Not that it was surprising, because Kate told Mae that she loved being outside. 

“Hey, Kate.”

“Hello, Mae. How have you been?” Kate asked, watching her carefully.

“I’ve been better.”

“Your mother told me what happened, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I think she told everyone in town what happened.” Mae studied the ground.

“Well, it is a small town. News travels fast, especially the bad news. I just want you to know that you have my most sincere condolences, and I also want you to know that Eric is with God now.”

“. . . Eric?”

Kate briskly nodded and readjusted her glasses. 

“That was Dr. Hank’s first name. Don’t worry - I didn’t know it was, either. Come to think of it, he was here a few days before his departure. Told me he had to confess a great sin to the Lord.”

A chill shot down Mae’s spine and the fur on the back of her neck stood on end.

“A sin? Do you know what it was?”

Kate shook her head no.

“Eric only told me that it had to happen, that he had no choice in the matter. He prayed fervently for God’s forgiveness.”

“. . . Huh.”

“Anyways, just know that if you ever need someone, I’m here. And if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

Mae hummed happily at the kind gesture and sighed. 

“I don’t think you could answer any of the questions I have right now.”

“Oh? Humor me.” Kate smiled welcomingly.

“It’s a bit… complicated. And vague. I keep having weird dreams about a strange creature. It’s. . . harmless- at least, I hope it’s harmless. Very peaceful. All-knowing, more like. Cryptic and passive, but never unsure. But when I asked, it said that it was not God; that God was setting me up to fail so that he could laugh at me.”

Kate shook her head and tsked.

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about that too much, Mae. God would never mock his own creations, his own universe. I can guarantee you now, God loves you from the core of his being, from his ever-growing heart. You are part of him, you know. We all are. We come from his heart, like branches from a great tree, and his love is the roots that nourish us.”

Which begged the question, Mae thought: If God created  _ her _ heart, then who created  _ God’s _ heart? If no one was there to create his heart, then would he even have one at all? Would he have had to make his own? That was kind of sad. It would be a very sad thing to do, Mae thought, having to make a heart for yourself.

Mae didn’t want to say these thoughts out loud in front of the Pastor though, because she had other things to do in town today and didn’t want to be stuck here for hours hearing about God’s love.

* * *

“What’s up Selmerrrrs?” Mae sang, skipping down the sidewalk. She had just left the church a few minutes ago and was headed further into town, her final destination being the Snack Falcon.

“Heard you found a body.” Selmers stated nonchalantly.

Mae’s heart skipped a beat and she grimaced internally. It  _ was _ Possum Springs, after all. Like Kate had said, bad news travels fast. “Wow, geez.”

“So it’s true then? Sorry. Thought it wasn’t legit, but now…” Selmers trailed off. They eyed Mae, waiting eagerly to hear if the hottest subject of gossip in town had any inkling of truth. 

“Sooo who was it?”

Mae looked away, silent.

“Please? You know it’s best if people learn the truth from you instead of rumors whispered around town.” They urged.

Mae briefly opened her mouth, but hesitated and quickly snapped it back shut. What would she even say?  _ Oh yeah Selmers, it was Dr. Hank. He was there, hanging like a puppet from a tree. Eyes popped out and everything! _

“Teeeell me? Pleeeeaaaase? C’mon, gimme that juicy tidbit of information!” Selmers looked at her, eyes pleading, before seeming to remember what exactly it was they were talking about and looking down at the sidewalk remorsefully. “Shit, sorry. I shouldn’t push things like that. It’s alright if you don’t wanna talk about it.”

A short, humorless chuckle escaped Mae’s lips. “It’s ok, Selmers. Yeah, that was a thing that happened. It was, uh. . . it was Dr. Hank.”

Selmers gasped. “Holy shit dude.”

“Yeah.”

“Yikes. Sorry. Looks like we both need to find new doctors soon then, huh?”

“Yup.”

“. . . Hey, wanna hear a new poem? It’ll make you feeeel beeetteeer.” They sing-songed. 

“Sure, I could use one right now.”

Selmers swiftly withdrew the small journal from their pocket and cleared their throat.

“Cries ice, bleeds flames. Feels nice, in-game. Chase mice, road rage. Save twice, in case.”

“. . . What’s that even mean?” Mae asked, tilting her head to the side inquisitively.

“There’s really nothing like playing video games that really get to you. Like. . . there’s alternatives. The fandom and the underlying message that you carry with you and such. But nothing’s ever like that one first experience, it’s like seeing an unfamiliar version of yourself in the mirror, but you don’t really want to look away, because it’s new to you. But it’s still, like. . . you.”

Mae stared, eyes widened slightly. “That’s deep, Selmers.”

“I just. . . I just really like video games, okay?”

“I completely understand. Well, I have other people to go say hi to.”

“Try not to find another body ok?” Selmers’s attempt at humor fell a little flat.

“It’s not on the list, but knowing my luck. . .” Mae’s voice wavered off and she continued walking up the hill.

* * *

Mae approached the doors of the Ol’ Pickaxe to see a “Closed” sign and nearly tripped down the steps.

Beatrice hadn’t opened the store that morning. A sloppily written note taped on the inside of the glass window said “Reopening Tomorrow Afternoon.”

* * *

“Hey, Mae.” Angus rumbled as she waltzed through the business doors.

“Sup, Angus. How’ve you been holdin’ up since the other night?”

“From what Gregg and I have heard from your father, much better than you have.”

“From my father?”

Angus nodded. “He’s been keeping us updated since you’ve been neglecting to respond via laptop or cellphone. Gregg and I came over a couple of times, but you were still in bed.”

Mae wrung her hands together nervously, her eyes darting from one crappy overpriced tape to the other as guilt raced through her veins like poison. It wasn’t like she  _ deserved _ to feel bad.  _ You saw a body for God’s Sake! Why are you feeling bad about recovering from something so traumatic and unnatural? _

She couldn’t answer that.

“Yeah. Sorry about that, heh. Really shouldn’t be so overdramatic, I mean, you guys were there too. And I’m over here acting like. . . like the world is ending or something. It’s pathetic.” Mae spoke sadly, and sighed because that’s exactly what this whole situation felt like in the first place - the early signs of an all-out apocalypse. Pathetic. That didn’t sound crazy or irrational at all. 

“Don’t apologize.” Angus said softly. “It’s completely understandable. Grief affects each person differently. Gregg and I have each other to talk to about it, so we’re obviously in a better, more settled state of mind now; and Bea’s father let her close up shop for a few days so they can spend some time together. That’ll be good for her.”

“Oh, that’s why the Pickaxe wasn’t open today!”

“Correct. Bea and I talked, and she’s doing alright. Just know that if you ever need anything, Gregg and I are here for you, okay? Don’t ever be afraid to ask for companionship or someone to talk to. Or Taco Buck.”

Mae smiled. “Thanks, big guy.”

Angus politely tipped his hat.

“So like, my dad. . . he’s been coming over to your house and stuff then? Isn’t that kind of weird?”

“Your father works at the only supermarket near Possum Springs, Mae. We see him all the time. It’s an inevitable occurrence.” Angus stated matter-of-factly, pausing briefly to straighten his tie, ears twitching here and there. 

“Oh yeah. I thought he quit that place a couple weeks back.”

“I mean, he definitely probably thought or talked about it. But in the end he still walks away with a paycheck. So like. . . I guess he doesn’t really have a choice in the matter as of right now. Not like any of us do, either.”

“Yeah. Guess so.”

“Good to see you around town now, though. It was empty and weird while you were gone. Did you wanna talk about what happened? Might make you feel better.”

“Nah. Maybe later. I dunno.”

“Okay. Take it easy, alright?”

“I’ll do my best. Oh hey, I picked up an application from Taco Buck!”

“Good. Now you can get Gregg and I discounts on the Super Nachos.” Angus grinned slyly.

“Wooow. That was your plan all along, huh?” Mae joked and squinted her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Precisely. Hey, don’t forget there’s band practice later today.”

“Oh, cool! I’m gonna go see Gregg before then. See you later dude.”

“Yup.”

* * *

Mae threw open the doors to the Snack Falcon as if she owned the place, strutting in with her head held high and her hands thrust out to the side dramatically.

“Hello, dearest Greggory! It is I-” Mae’s overdramatic entrance to the Snack Falcon was cut off by a ball of ecstatic orange fur with flailing arms crashing into her at full speed. After recovering from seeing her life flash before her eyes, she stood back up and saw Gregg happily jumping up and down, screeching like a bat. He also had cups on his ears again today.

“Maaaaeee! You’re not dead!? Hahaha!! I knew that Taco Buck would revive you and bring you back to your senses! Even if I did eat more than half of it on the way to your house! How you feeling?” His jubilant and energetic voice echoed off the walls of the Snack Falcon, and Mae was thankful there were no customers in the building.

“Haha. You’re the best, Gregg.”

“I already knew that! But hey dude! Hey hey hey!” Gregg began lightly punching her arms with his lightning fast fists.

“What? What what what? Ow dude stop.”

“Since you’re up and at ‘em now, you know what this means, right? Right right right?”

Mae shot him a questioning look, still enduring his arm punches. “Umm, band practice?”

“Yeah that too, but fiiiirst. . .!” Gregg then nudged Mae’s side a little too roughly, accidently knocking her off balance and into the counter beside her. He didn’t seem to notice, though, too caught up in giggling and grinning mischievously. 

“. . . I have no idea what you’re-”

“It starts with a C and ends with an S!”

“. . . Cults?” Mae said stupidly.

“What? Dude, no.” Gregg spat, baffled.

“Sorry, I-”

“Crimes!!!” He finally exclaimed, not able to hold it in any longer. He pounced on the counter, the cups haphazardly flung from his wild ears and his shoes leaving a few black streak marks on the tile.

“Wait, really? I’ve only been resurrected for like a day, dude. Don’t we want to like. . . wait until all of this drama settles down at least? Until things start feeling a little normal again?”  _ Until we know that all the killer dad cult members are dead so that we won’t have to worry about being kidnapped and sacrificed to a Star God on the way home? _

Gregg paused his ecstatic movements and his ears shot up in disbelief, and for a moment Mae feared that he was actually reading her thoughts. Luckily, this was not the case.

“What? Mae. Dude. C’mon. Crimes are completely and totally one-hundred-percent normal. Why else would the police department exist?”

“Actually, to stop them from happening in the first place?”

Gregg paused and pondered this thought as if it were the first time it had occurred to him, before shrugging and hopping back down onto the floor, aggressively swinging an arm over Mae’s shoulders.

“They’re calling to us, Mae. The crimes, I mean. We’ve gotta be there for them. You can’t just let the crimes down like this, man. They’ve always been there for us. We’ve gotta do the same! It would be a good way to simmer down, too, you feel me? After all this shit we’ve been through?”

This wasn’t entirely wrong, now that Mae thought about it. Whenever the duo felt down or stressed or just flat-out bored, they would always turn to the more uncanny, socially-unacceptable ways of letting off steam. And it did help. The satisfaction of destruction, the thrill of going places they shouldn’t, the pride left in the form of ornate graffiti or stolen materials.

And then she remembered the whole Donut Wolf fiasco, and her eagerness and excitement for the crime time ahead diminished.

“I-I dunno, Gregg, we” Mae began, running her hands through the tuft of fur on her head anxiously. “We. . . talked about this already, didn’t we? Didn’t you and Angus-”

“It won’t be a big crime, and we don’t gotta tell him! No biggie!” Gregg blurted with a shrug.

Mae blinked in surprise.

“Umm. That does not seem like a smart idea, like at all.” She desperately did not want to have any more conversations like they’d had that night, and she desperately didn’t want to get in the way of their plans. Again. She knew that Gregg was impulsive and careless, and really didn’t want to encourage the type of behavior that Angus fought tooth and nail to reign in. He was the only one capable of talking sense into him, really, she didn’t want to go behind his back just for him to screw up all of his progress.

“Hey I never said doing crimes was smart, I just said that we should definitely do them. And like, since that night. . .” Gregg’s voice significantly lowered. “. . . I dunno. It just helps me, I guess. To clear my head.”

Mae sighed.

“What did you even have in mind, then?”

Gregg’s face lit up like the cheap sixty-eight cent lights they smashed a while back.

“So, like, I’ve been thinking about - you know those abandoned Food Donkey shopping carts? The ones that you didn’t manage to destroy while you were on drugs?”

“Geez. What about them?”

“Weeeell, you know that load of logs down by the park? The ones that they left hanging off of that hill?”

“I think I see where you’re going with this but I’m gonna ask and hope that I’m wrong anyways.”

“We should totally ride those carts to Valhallah!!!” Gregg hollered, and his shrill voice bounced off of her eardrums and back into the empty Snack Falcon.

“. . . Why, though?” Mae finally asked.

“Holy shit, Mae, you’re starting to sound like Bea.” Greggory groaned in dismay. He used his hand as a little Beatrice puppet. “Why do this, why do that, this is bad, that’s bad too, you’re an irresponsible annoying selfish good for nothing brat, blah blah blaaah-”

“Wait what was that last-”

“It’s like you woke up a different person this morning! Everything okay in there!?” Gregg hollered, knocking on Mae’s forehead roughly. “C’mooon, I know you wanna! Please?”

She deliberated, wanting to be the responsible one for once in her goddamn life. But the thrill of getting away with something they shouldn’t, the opportunity to use her bat again under her own control, the possibility of reclaiming an abandoned heap of trash and together reinventing nothing short of a legendary masterpiece. . . Ah, hell. The temptation of the crime was too strong to resist. And what was one more time, anyway? Gregg did actually have a point. What Angus didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right? 

“. . . Alright, fine.” She hissed in defeat.

“That didn’t sound enthusiastic at all.” Her companion reprimanded, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently.

She grinned and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Crimes!”

“YYEEEAAAAHHHH!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave Selmers (Selma) they/them pronouns because 1. When Jacksepticeye did his playthrough he started off reading Selmers as a guy, which permanently confused me, and so they/them would work for those of you who are now just confused as I am since he changed the voice mid-playthrough. 2. I know now that she's for sure a girl, but also as a nonbinary person who prefers they/them pronouns, I thought it would be cool to integrate more of the LGBT community in there as well, along with Gregg, Angus and Mae (and probably Bea tbh idk). So yeah, Selmers is a chick, but I'll be using they/them for her pronouns throughout the story for both utilitarian and personal reasons. The more you know!


	6. (Crimes.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi this story’s not dead I’m just incredibly lazy and a lot of shit happened but hey now ive got my own place just no internet woop I’m uploading this at my girlfriends house lmao.   
> Recently suffered from a great episode of dissociation (panic attack?? derealization?? idk my therapist couldn’t figure it out either) recently and my first thought was “Well if I have to endure this then Mae does too”. Sometimes relating to a character too well isn’t all that great in reality lmao its actually terrifying as fuck I cried for like an hour when I got home because I didn’t know what the fuck was going on haha. Also binge watched rick and morty. Suuuper hyped for this new season. Anyways back to the story yay wifi  
> (MEGGGGGAANNNNN remind me to let you edit this at some point while I'm over at your house plz thnx)

“Were you known by any other names and/or lived in a different state within the past seven years?” Mae read aloud to herself, tapping the pen aggressively on the paper. She seemed intensely focused on the question even though the answer was an obvious “no”, but even with that fact in her mind, she still felt paranoid that she would screw this up in some way or another. Maybe not reading the question properly, or not writing neatly enough? She didn’t really know; all she knew was that somehow she would probably find a way to fuck this up for herself.

Filling out a job application while being pushed through the rugged forest terrain in a rickety Food Donkey cart wasn’t necessarily the easiest task to accomplish to begin with, though. Nor did it give her the space or patience to write legibly. Nevertheless she persisted, messily writing in her answers and chewing on the bottom of the pen while thinking too hard about questions with simple answers. 

“Dank.” Gregg said jubilantly, plucking branches off miscellaneous trees that were in his way and throwing them beside the cart next to Mae as if he were purchasing them when they reached the log. “Dank Borowski. 420 Blaze Street. Mmmm, Portland Oregon. Sound about right?” 

“God I wish. I’ll be sure to fit that in somewhere.” Mae muttered halfheartedly as she ultimately gave up trying to fill the damned sheet out, folding it neatly and tucking it in her jean pocket with the pen.

She briefly looked up to see that they had already reached the log landslide. She must have been completely enthralled in her application because she couldn’t remember going through Sawmill Park at all. Unless they went around it completely. Was there even a way around the park to this place? She wouldn’t be surprised. It was just a maze of woods out here. Woods woods woods.

Gregg pushed Mae the remainder up the hill in front of the fallen logs and then intentionally tipped the cart over on the ground. He guffawed while Mae grumpily climbed to her feet and brushed the dirt off of herself.

“You do realize that there were already Food Donkey carts here at the park, right? See, look down there.” Mae noted, pointing to the ones at the bottom of the hill. She had first discovered them when she got back home, and the more she thought about it, the more she believed that the kids who took those same carts here were doing the exact same thing she and Gregg were doing right now. Which, upon looking at how destroyed and bust up the carts were, made Mae think about what would happen to them.

“Yeah, but they’re like trashed now dude.” Greggorry simply shrugged, prepping the cart atop a sturdy log and adjusting it here and there to his liking. “Need to get the new ones for this to work properly. It’s all in the wheels, man!”

“Yyyeah all in the wheeels, uh-huh. Run by me what we’re doing again?” Mae asked, scratching her ear as she watched Gregg focus a little to intently on the cart position.

“Y’know, technically, this isn’t even a crime. I mean yeah it’s trespassing but literally no one cares.”

“Aunt Mall Cop cares.”

“She’s out searching for all those people we murdered, remember?”

“Geez, Gregg.”

“We’re not breaking and entering or anything. We’re just being stupid at this point.”

“I mean I gathered that much but like on a scale of one to ten how stupid?”

“Probablyyy six and a half.”

Mae scoffed. “More like nine.”

 “They’re pretty much the same basically, one’s just upside down. Alright, here you go!”

 Mae turned to see her fox companion holding out an old helmet with a bullet hole through it, a devious smile on his face. “Ladies first, Ms. Borowski!”

 "Your fascist helmet?” Mae inquired, holding it in her hands and inspecting the many bumps and nicks it acquired from Gregg’s stupidity and clumsiness over the years.

 “Oh my god Mae we’ve discussed this several times.”

 “Yeah but what did you give it to me for?”

 “What else do you do with helmets, dipshit?”

 “Well then what are you gonna wear?”

 “Nothing.”

“Hot.”

 “I know right? Angus thinks so too.”

 Mae shot him a deadpan expression and crossed her arms. “Greggorry Lee, as the designated mom friend of this highly illegal trip, I will not let you down that log without at least some sort of headgear. I don’t care how gay you are.”

 Gregg scoffed. “Fiiiine fine fine fine. We’ll take turns if you want, I just really don’t want you hitting your head again. That shit was scary.” Gregg shivered and yanked the helmet from Mae’s fidgety hands and aggressively onto her head where he was intending it to go in the first place.

“Yeah. That entire thing was scary.” Mae mumbled under her breath while she tweaked the helmet into its proper position.

 “Haha yeah but anyways we’re here to not talk about that like at all, so fire when ready, soldier!” Gregg shouted ecstatically, huffing his chest out and pointing at the empty Food Donkey cart sitting steady at the edge of the log.

 “Aye aye!” Mae affirmed excitedly (well, as excited as she could be about once again enabling Gregg into doing something incredibly stupid; the excitement was moderate). She eagerly ran up to the ledge before hesitantly taking in her surroundings. These logs were so much higher off the ground than she remembered when she got home that night, and that slope would no doubt send her flipping over at least twice in a row, like a stunt double. But hey, she thought, that’s what the helmet was for, right? Worst case scenario, they could go get Angus and have him piggy back her to her parents house, like the time she fell from the power line by the Clik-Clak (it had gotten dark and she had been too distracted by the birds, and honestly, it was her fault for such faulty footwork; nobody else knew of that one time she fell off the power lines and she fully intended on keeping it that way).

Carefully, she lifted a leg in before settling comfortably into the shopping cart, using the branches as lap belts and clinging onto the sides with all her might.

She made a walkie talkie out of her hands.

“Kkkkch! Anselm to Greggorry, come in Greggorry, over!”

“Kkrrsh! I can hear you loud and clear, uuhhh… Anselm? What the fuck kinda name-?”

“Kkkkch! The Mae Bird is prepped and ready for takeoff, over!”

Gregg stomped up behind the cart and pulled it back a bit, its leverage now completely relying on his scrawny arm muscles. Mae shrunk herself into a tight ball uneasily.

“Ready… aim… FIRE!” Gregg shouted before giving the cart a good shove, and Mae took off down the log.

She stayed steady for a second or two before physics actually kicked in and the wheels rolled off of the cylindrical makeshift bridge, and rather than flipping over like she predicted, she landed safely on the ground in her little cat ball form.

And the cart fell right on top of her.

Mae ducked and curled back into her ball the best she could and the cart almost perfectly landed right on top of her, acting like a cage now that it was flipped upside down. A part of it hit her foot (ow) and it nicked her ears a little bit, but aside from that, amazingly enough she wasn’t too seriously injured. Not yet at least. She would have to give it another go or so to guarantee those results.

“Aagh! I’ve been captured by my own devices!” Mae hollered as Gregg tried to peak over the hill to inspect the damage (which, thankfully, was minimal).

“That was awesome! My turn my turn my turn bring it back up here!” He squealed, leaping up and down and wildly flailing his arms as his friend gradually escaped from her prison. She huffed and flipped the cart back over onto its wheels, preparing her ascent until she had to stop for a few seconds to catch her breath. Damn, she was incredibly out of shape.

“Hey slowpoke, I wanna try too! C’mon already!” The voice above her urged.

“I got it! Just… give me a sec to chill, man, that coulda gone a whole lot worse, be proud of me.” Mae stated, oddly lacking the excitement and energy that she just had moments ago. It was as if her confidence and nonchalant attitude towards this endeavor just up and ran away, and in its place was a blank spot of where some feeling was supposed to be. It was an interesting experience, to at first be full of joy and pride, and then to be completely empty the next.

Mae blinked up at the setting sun as she recovered from the drop, her thoughts pondering about how beautiful the sight was…

…

 

…before her thoughts slowly but surely came to a screeching halt, and a familiar feeling of numbness overcame her.

And then it was as if she’d never seen it before. The view was so enthralling, and then she blinked, and they were new again; brand new, as if she were a child, completely unfamiliar with the world around her. Brand new, as if every time she blinked she were unwrapping the sunset, and the wrapping paper became the clouds surrounding it. The hues of orange and red lost their names and just became colors that she’d never actually truly __seen__  before. And the forests and the trees before her were new again; which, she supposed, wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, if only she didn’t become suddenly unfamiliar with her surroundings and completely forget her location.

She looked around and couldn’t decipher where she was or why she was here exactly (her head moving around felt like slow motion, as if she’d been underwater, or as if she was a bobblehead somebody accidentally bumped). And the more she thought about how empty it was here, the more she realized that she no longer knew herself.

Her eyes widened as the feeling of detachment and uneasiness overtook her. Her heart began to pound rapidly and she breathed as deep as she could, but she couldn’t __feel that__  either. Hell, was she even breathing? It felt like someone was stepping - no, stomping - on her chest. She looked down at her hands and blinked a few times. Her hands were not her hands. Why couldn’t she feel her hands? These were hers, weren’t they? She flexed them into tight fists. No. These weren’t her hands. She couldn’t remember why they were here. And just like that, she had completely forgotten who she was and what she was here for. And the more that realization set in, the more panicked she grew. And the only thing left remaining after each round of amnesia was the panic gnawing on her lungs and the ferocious beat of her heart.

“Hey, Mae! C’mon, you’ve got a few more rounds left in ya!”

And Mae wanted to say something in response to that familiar voice. Something stupid and inappropriate regarding what he just said and his relationship with Angus, something about infidelity because of that hot log and sexy Food Donkey Cart since he was gay and the joke just wouldn’t make sense or be as good if it were referring to her. She wanted to open her mouth and say something that was considered normal between them - that’s what she came here for right? To make things normal with her friends? Pfft. What friends? You know he only hangs out with you because he pities you right? She kept… Wait, where was she? What was going on? What was she literally just talking about? Whose hands were these? These weren’t her hands. These weren’t her hands!

Abruptly she stood up, only to fall back onto the ground again because __these weren’t her legs__ and she didn’t know what the fuck to do about that. Was she dreaming? Was that what this feeling was? She had to be dreaming. As if she were sifting through an ocean of slime trying to grab something to hold on to, her movements were slow and uncontrolled and not her own, because she was not doing this. Her thoughts raced and she couldn’t understand any of them, but they were panicked and afraid; and in turn, that made her even more so.

“... Mae? Dude, you ok?”

She looked up and saw that Gregg had come down the hill - she recognized him as a distant memory, sure enough, but she felt so far away from him. He was like a familiar statue she’d seen long ago, she just couldn’t quite place her tongue on it. And why was he looking at her so expectantly? Had he asked her a question? Had she done something wrong? Shit, had she fallen down and hit her head again? Is that what this dreadful feeling was? What did he want from her again? Why was he here in the first place? What was this place?

“... I…” was all Mae was able to manage before her thoughts automatically reset again. It was like she disappeared from her own body. These thoughts were not hers. These movements were not hers. None of this was hers. Where did she go? Why was there just an emptiness in her head as if she were trapped in a dream? Why did it feel as if she was floating away from herself? She was terrified. Fear gripped her heart with an iron fist.

“What was-” She muttered before she looked around herself again. The park, Sawmill Park, she knew the name, she’d been here more than once, so why was it all so different? Why did she not recognize this place at all? Why were the colors so bright and the woods so loud and their names gone from her mind? Why couldn’t she just get a grip already? Why did her chest hurt so much?

__These aren’t my hands._ _

“Dude?” Gregg asked again, a little quieter this time. His ears drooped in concern. “Mae?”

Mae discovered that she had only been barely breathing in short desperate gasps when she attempted to speak, and that freaked her out even more, and the panic increased ten fold, because this had to be what dying felt like. She was certain. This had to be what dying felt like.

“I don’t… I don’t know, I don’t know! I’m not- I don’t know what’s… going on! What’s going on!?”

Hah! No surprise there. She never really knew what was going on anyway. She was just dragging one of her friends down with her this time. And it wasn’t the first. And it surely wouldn’t be the last, because that’s what Margaret Borowski was good for: dragging people down.

Mae gripped her ears much harder than she should have and shook her head back and forth vigorously (it felt like trying to shake off slime), part of her hoping to dispel this feeling much like a dog shakes off water from its fur. It didn’t work, and shapes began to form. Not the vivid, angry, hostile ones that she saw back at the Food Donkey. Not the ones that were supposedly drug induced, the ones that taunted her and made her arms swing the bat before she could comprehend what she was swinging at. These shapes were just that: shapes. Plain, emotionless. Meaningless. Foregin. Unfamiliar. And somehow, without that anger, without something behind it to spite and swing at, it made it scarier, because now she didn’t have an excuse.

“Whoa, dude, you’re alright man. Did you hit your head?”

“No… here, I’m not here, none of this feels real, I can’t- I don’t __know__ , I’m so f-fucking scared, Gregg! Where am I!?”

“Oh no, dude. Don’t be scared. I think you might be-” And then the voice disappeared and became background noise, along with the incessant ringing in her ears and the rapid heartbeat reverberating throughout her body.

And so Mae gave up. And she curled up into a ball, and cried for what had to have been the hundredth time that week.

These weren’t her hands. She knew that much. Her body felt so fake and lifeless so it couldn’t have belonged to her, where did she go? This world, her thoughts felt so fake and there was nothing she could do about it except grieve what little she could remember about it, the parts that kept slipping away again. The arms that tightly wound themselves around her comfortingly weren’t her own, but she couldn’t quite feel them or decipher what they were anymore. For a moment she was certain they were snakes, and then she forgot what she was thinking about; and then she was certain they were an attacker’s arms and desperately tried to shake herself free, and then she forgot what she was thinking about. But the loud pounding in her ears and the throbbing in her head and the quickness of her breath had to have meant something was wrong, that she wasn’t safe here.

She briefly wondered if this is what dying felt like. Panicky, abrupt, and endless. It had to have been hours. This had to have been going on for hours.

But when she looked up she could still see the sun setting - rays of colors she no longer knew the names for - and although she knew that was the sun, it seemed more like a lightbulb, or a flashlight being shone right into her eyes. Like god had heard her crying and peeked through his curtains to investigate the chaos.

And just through her blurry teary-eyed gaze, she could make out another shape, clinging onto her as if she were the last living thing left on this earth, noticeably muttering something under its breath, but Mae couldn’t quite make out the words anymore. The two orange triangles atop its head were angled downwards and they glitched constantly, and Mae briefly tried to distance herself from them, just in case they were dangerous. It’s orange snake-like appendages hugged her even closer, then. Had it seen her gaping at it as if it were an alien? Oh god did she hurt its feelings? Did shapes have feelings? What if it was trying to hurt her? This didn’t seem like a hostile shape. Looking now through rose colored glasses, it had to have been… trying to hug her? As much as a glob of empty shapes could, she guessed. Helper shapes. Shapes that didn’t just sit around and do nothing. Shapes that didn’t mock her.

And that helped, Mae supposed. It grounded her, it kept the rest of her from floating away into the sky that just now struck her as the most endless thing in the universe. It felt like it was swallowing her whole, and Mae couldn’t bring herself to look at anything anymore, opting instead to burrow her face into the shape in front of her and closing her eyes as tightly as possible.

After what seemed like an eternity, her heart finally settled down. It’s thunderous beating slowed, and the world gradually reappeared around her again. These hands… they were shaky and sweaty and still balled into tight angry fists, but they were her own. The uncomfortable pricking sensation beneath her was the grass, the Sawmill Park grass. And that big ball of light was the sun, and it was smothered with gorgeous, familiar hues: of orange, and yellow, and purple. They had names again. Mae stared at it for a long time, the words returning to her mind and rolling off her tongue tiredly.

“...Clouds.” The word felt heavy in her mouth, and dry, like cotton. Clouds on her tongue.

“D-dude? M-Mae?”

That was when she realized that the strange shape - that Gregg, his name was Gregg - was still hugging her, looking as if he’d just cried for as long as she did. He had to have in tears this whole time, scared to death for his best friend while trying to bring her back down.

So she balled herself back up, and kept crying with him.

And they stayed like that for awhile as the sun disappeared behind the trees.

* * *

 “They’re taking forever,” Beatrice huffed, her arms crossed as she waited impatiently with Angus at the abandoned Party Barn.

By this point, all the equipment had been set up and Angus had already warmed up his voice. Beatrice had long since put together the drum sequence for the song Mae wrote and sent to her the other day - and Bea had to say, it was pretty damn good (and she was hard to impress nowadays… eh, in general). They were just waiting on the guitarist and the bassist to return from whatever shenanigans they were up to. Which, in Angus’ opinion, couldn’t have been good.

“Did you happen to hear where they said they were going beforehand?” Angus inquired. He hated feeling like he couldn’t trust his boyfriend since Mae returned home, and he was kind of hoping that after the discussion that they had last time, they wouldn’t go back to doing crazy stuff and unacceptable reckless behavior again. 

And while Angus was a logical person, and refused to make empty accusations without some sort of evidence or something of the sort, well, he was weary. He liked Mae. He never disliked her, not since he met her, not even for a second. But there wasn’t a single person in town that didn’t know of her destructive and non-compliant behavior. It made Angus worry for Gregg and the plan they spent so long saving up for.

More importantly, in light of recent events, it made him worry for Mae. 

“Nope. Sorry.” Bea spoke as she took a long drag from her cigarette. “Maybe they just needed to talk things out, after… you know…”

After Dr. Hank. Angus nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, Mae hasn’t been talking to her parents about it at all, so yeah, that would make a lot of sense. It would make them both feel better about the whole situation, I suppose. 

Bea sat down next to Angus and pulled her knees up to her chest. “Hey, by the way, uh… thanks for telling Mae and Gregg that I was talking things through with my dad, though. It really means a lot to me that you would… kind of, preserve things like this Angus.”

“No problem. It’s not my place to tell them,” Angus said with a hint of sadness in his eyes. He huffed. “Not to pressure you or anything, but… when do you think would be a good time to tell them?" 

“I dunno, man.” Bea sighed sadly. “I’m still coming to terms with it myself. The Pick-Axe is entirely my responsibility now, you know? Not that it feels any different, but like… I don’t know how to feel about it all. I’m in like, a slow-mo form of shock, I guess. Like, I should be more upset about this, but part of me almost expected it.” 

“I’m sorry, Beatrice. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you right now.”

“I’ll be fine big guy. Not the worst that could happen, right?” Bea said sarcastically, flicking her lighter anxiously. “I thought… I just wish that this whole thing was over, you know? And then this whole thing with Mae…” 

“She was definitely drugged,” Angus affirmed with a hint of aggravation in his voice. “I took some stuff from Dr. Hank’s office. It seemed to be some sort of shoddy, lowe budget paranoia-inducing stimulant. And that was a ‘small’ dose. While there’s no outward evidence suggesting it, I’m willing to bet that it had something to do with that mine cult.” 

“...So that means, there’s probably more of them out there. Fuck, Mae was right,” Bea cradled her head in her hands and groaned. “I’ve had enough of this creepy cult shit.” 

“I think we all have,” Angus lightly set a hand on Bea’s shoulder. “And we’ll figure this out. We’ll find out who they are and turn them into the police, and this whole thing will end. In the meantime, all we can do is cope I guess. And that’s what friends are here for. We’ll all make sure we’ll get out of this alive. Even if, in the end, we all leave a little fucked up.” 

“... Thanks for talking with me, Angus. You always know what to say.”

Angus tipped his hat. “Has Mae talked to you about any of this recently?” 

“Nope.”

Angus huffed. “Hmm. She hasn’t talked to anybody about this. Except for Selmers, I think.” 

“Selmers?”

“Dude down the street from Video Outpost Too. Comes in sometimes to hang out and talk about shitty horror movie spin-offs. They told me they talked to Mae. And that they’ve been like, the only one, unless Gregg and Mae are out talking right now. Which, compared to what they __could__ be doing,” Angus sighed, remembering the Donut Wolf incident, “Is the most favorable option. 

Bea glanced around the room. “Well I mean, I see why it’s bad for her to NOT talk about this stuff, but like… aside from you, me and Gregg, who would she have to talk to?” 

“Her parents?”

“Where would talking to her parents get any of them, though?” The crocodile shrugged. 

“What do you mean?”

“Like, she could talk about Dr. Hank obviously, but a lot more than that happened. With the mine and her dreams and stuff. And a lot of those things we couldn’t even tell our friends and families. Hell, we lied to the police department. ‘A hunter’?” 

“We didn’t know for certain who shot at her, since they were cloaked. It seemed like the most reasonable explanation, or like, the least crazy guess.” 

“Yeah but there are no ‘least crazy guesses’ when it comes to talking to people about this to get it off our chests, does that make sense? Look, you and Gregg can talk to each other about it because one, you were both there together and two, you know that neither one of you is crazy. Mae? Even if she did have a Gregg or someone to listen to her, with her track record… who would even take her seriously? It’s painful to say out loud, but… who would sit down with her and believe it’s actual problem rather than do what’s easiest and blame it on another one of her freaky schitzo psychotic episodes? As if the recent one didn’t help at all? 

“Geez, Bea. That’s not very cool.”

“Obviously I don’t think that. I mean, I think I’ve kind of got a handle of what’s going on with her lately, but small towns suck. I bet that’s on everyone’s mind when someone says the name ‘Mae Borowski’." 

“Hmm. Yeah, I guess you’re right. So what do you think is going on with her?”

A long pause settled heavily over the two of them as Bea racked her brain. 

“Mmm… Depression. Anxiety. Anger issues. Dissociation. I dunno. One of those things. Or all of those things. She told me one time that Dr. Hank wanted her to repress those feelings. I’m no doctor, but personally, I think that it kind of, you know, fucked with her head. And if this doctor did actually drug her back there, and if this is the same doctor she’s been seeing for years? I’m surprised she’s not out there having another freakout or something.” 

Angus tensed, remembering that Gregg was with her. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the sound of the Party Barn’s doors being slammed open.

In walked a tired looking Mae and shaken Gregg, both of which had some grass in their fur and wet patches beneath their reddend eyes that Angus knew had to have been from crying. Or from weed. Maybe they were talking things out after all? Hell, he didn't mind it when his boyfriend toked up, it was much better than the other alternatives floating around out there. 

“Speak of the devil.” Beatrice said, taking in a slow drag from a new cigarette. “Where were you guys? We’ve been sitting here for like twenty minutes.”

“That’s not too bad-” Greggorry began, before Mae cut him off abruptly. 

“Talking. That’s all.”

“Oh. That’s it?” 

Gregg focused his gaze intensely on the floor. 

“See? Talking it out." Bea said pointedly towards Angus. "Your eyes are all red, Mae. Have you been crying?”

“Umm. Yeah. I mean can you blame me?” 

“Geez.”

“But it’s fine now. I’m fine now.”

A long, uneasy pause forced its way into the room, before Gregg awkwardly cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. “Band practice time! Because I said so and I’m the boss!” His voice sounded hoarse, Angus noted. 

“What song are we singing again?” Angus pondered aloud. 

“Uhh, one of mine for a change?” Mae crossed her arms. 

“But we don’t know it like at all- oooohhh.” Gregg began, before realization dawned upon him and he quickly lowered his voice. 

“Ha! Yeah that's right! Suffer bitches!” Mae exclaimed, smiling for the first time.  She tapped the microphone, letting out an obnoxious "testing, testing" before clearing her throat, and looking at Bea to start the song. 

 

“I don’t remember you, sitting beside the fire

It’s like you’re all brand new, when you look at the stars

I don’t remember you, or maybe I’m a coward

I don’t remember you beside me

 

We don’t know ourselves anyway

What’s happened here is here to stay

I can’t remember who I was before

 

I don’t remember you, a crumbling empire

It’s like you’re all brand new, surrounded by fake gods

I don’t remember you, maybe I’m just a liar

I don’t remember you beside me

 

Never knew ourselves anyway

It’s happening and it’s okay

I can’t forget you, who I was before

 

Never knew ourselves anyway,

It’s happened here, it’s gone away

Try to forget that we are nothing more."


End file.
